Breastfeeding Decision…Made a little early.

Published November 24, 2012 by jessicalynndunning

The last two nights with Briana were terrible. Truly terrible. She started screaming and crying at 10:30 last night. I fed her and changed her and did the whole repeat thing…She wouldn’t settle down. After I would feed her, she would sleep, but only for about ten minutes at a time, never long enough for me to fall asleep. She was still acting hungry after I fed her, and I didn’t know what to do for her.

David came home on his “lunch” at about 3AM, and suggested giving her some of the Enfamil formula we had left from when we were supplementing her feedings the first week we brought her home. She ate 4 ounces of formula. Hmmm….After David left I decided to pump to see how much milk I had left. There was about an ounce in my left, and practically nothing in my right. No bueno. I don’t know if she had eaten so much that she emptied me out, or if my supply was just low because of how late it was, but I know why she was still acting hungry…

After she ate, I burped her and changed her, and she was asleep before we made it back into our bedroom. (Her changing table is in the nursery, but she is sleeping in a bassinet by our bed right now.) I think it was about 6:00 when I was finally able to close my eyes. I had her all set up in bed next to me…I know I’m not supposed to do that, but it calms her down, and I was desperate for sleep at this point. Plus, she had hold of my finger, and any time I tried to pull my hand away, she started fussing. So we fell asleep holding hands.

David got home from work a little before 8:00, and he came in and kissed my forhead. He said my eyes looked bruised because I was so tired, and told me to stay in bed with her, and he would come get her if she started to fuss. He was going to try to stay up because he isn’t on nights anymore, so he needed to straighten out his sleep schedule.

Briana must have gotten more than enough to eat though, because she slept until almost noon. I called David in to come change her and then went ahead and pumped so we could feed her. I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough, but I pumped more than enough for her to get a full meal. Yay! Briana seemed much happier after she had her bottle. She didn’t fuss or cry, she just looked up at me with those big ole blue eyes of hers and looked very content and satisfied. I talked to her for a little while and played with her hands while she looked at me like I was the weirdest person in the world. 🙂

So I’ve been pumping every couple of hours, and she woke up at 5:00 to eat (ate about 4 ounces again) and still hasn’t woken up, and it’s 8:00 now…though she is starting to stir now, so I’ll have to finish up this blog entry pretty quickly.

I know that some people are going to give me grief about not breastfeeding anymore, but they can just take a hike…this is between me and Briana, not me and Briana and everyone else. She is still getting my milk and all the healthy benefits from it. As for the whole “great bonding experience” thing, it’s only a great bonding experience if you actually enjoy it. I felt closer to her giving her the bottles today than I ever have when we were trying to breastfeed, because both of us were completely calm and relaxed, and she was getting enough to eat, and she looked happy, and that made me happy.

She’s hungry right now, gotta run!

Happy New Mommy


7 comments on “Breastfeeding Decision…Made a little early.

  • I agree Jess. Like I had said in response to a previous blog post, you need to do what is right for you and Briana, not what the general consenus of what right is.

    Personally, I think that the bonding can occur whether your breastfeeding or not. It’s the quality time together. You can still do skin to skin time while feeding her a bottle if you choose.

    Sounds like your learning to trust your insincts. Good for you!

  • For me, pumping was more of a pain than nursing – by a LONG shot. As long as she’s getting your milk, with all the benefits (don’t freeze it, it loses 60% of the antibodies), GREAT! Glad you found a way to work it out. 🙂
    You know, though, that the more she sucks, the more you make. So, there’s how to up your supply in the future. It also works with pumping, just takes longer.

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