I am such a slacker…

Published December 9, 2012 by jessicalynndunning

It’s been a couple of days since I posted…again. I’m trying not to make a habit of that, but life does get in the way of me blogging sometimes. Can’t imagine why, what with a newborn at home and all. Anyway.

Briana had her one month check up on Thursday. She is 9 pounds 7 ounces now, and is 22 inches long. She is getting so big, so fast. She has grown out of some of her newborn clothes already! Yesterday, I was looking at the picture I took of her when we were getting ready to come home from the hospital, when we had just put on her cute little outfit (and she thought she was absolutely traumatized by the experience). I couldn’t believe how much she has grown and changed in such a short amount of time.

We asked the doctor about her rash. He said it looks to him like she just has really sensitive skin, and suggested 1% hydrocortisone cream to help with the irritation. We haven’t actually tried it yet because she seems to be doing okay, and her rash is fading. But we bought some. And we did put some more calamine lotion on her the other night…it seems to help her a lot.

The last couple of nights, Briana has slept between 6 and 7 hours. This is great. The only problem is, we’re pretty sure that the only reason she slept that long is that she fell asleep on David’s chest and he ended up sleeping on the couch with her like that all night. Before you blast me and tell me how unsafe that is – I know. Except David wakes up every time she so much as twitches when she is sleeping on him. And I checked on them a couple times both nights. Neither one of them shifted, even by an inch.

So…great! She does know how to sleep. The only problem now is getting her to sleep in her own space! *sigh* Went from one problem right to another.

I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately – even aside from Briana I mean. She could be sound asleep and I won’t be able to sleep. I don’t sleep during the day anymore either, so I’m really not getting much sleep at all. I’m having trouble remembering to eat as well. I had to set an alarm on my phone to remind myself! When I do eat, nothing really tastes good to me, so I don’t eat much. One good thing resulting from this is that I have lost all but 11 pounds of my baby weight, and I gained a good 40 pounds while I was pregnant. (I’m pretty sure almost all of it was water weight, but anyway.) The bad part is that, well, I’m not eating.

I think it’s depression related, honestly. I’m not sure if it’s the *insert voice of doom here* POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION or if it’s just “regular” depression, which I’ve suffered from in the past. I don’t think it’s really important what kind it is. The important part is that I keep taking care of Briana, and I’m doing that, and loving almost every minute of it. I can’t pretend that being sleep deprived and feeding her at two in the morning is fun, but I can tell you that even in my foggy, sleep-deprived state, when she looks up at me with her great big blue eyes, I fall in love all over again with her. So at least my depression, whether postpartum or “regular” isn’t affecting my ability to care for my precious baby girl.

Today I went and hung out at my in-laws house while David went off to work on his hobby at the hobby shop. I didn’t feel like hanging around the apartment and feeling frustrated all day because I didn’t have help, so I decided their house was the better way to go. They decided to give Briana her Christmas present early, so now we have one of those cool baby swings that swings automatically when you turn it on and plays music and such. Awesome! Except that’s what I told my dad and grandma we needed for her, so now I have to warn them not to get one. 🙂 Oh, well. We built it at their house and put her in it for a few minutes. She seemed to really enjoy it.

I feel like this blog is going nowhere today, and it’s already pretty long. I’ll try to write a more interesting blog tomorrow for you all.

(Kind of Depressed) New Mommy

Lavender Girl




10 comments on “I am such a slacker…

  • Don’t worry about not blogging, we all know why! lol
    Glad Briana is finally getting some sleep, and hope that you do too soon!

    I think it’s great you’re being mindful of your depression. As long as you’re taking care of Briana, and still enjoying it (not all the time necessarily) it’s all good. I think sleep deprivation does that to you somewhat along with hormones, so I think what you’re feeling is very normal. Just make sure it doesn’t last and last, and last.

    You’re doing a great job, keep it up mama!

  • You are doing a Great JOB as new parents!!!It’s a big ajustment in your lives. With her not sleeping all night did you try her crib.I would give a warm bath at around 9:00 to relax her. My daughter surprized meThat she took to her crib and started to sleeping all night at her age.Just an Idea for you..Baby swing is a life saver.My daughter loved hers.Keep up the get job!!!

  • I wouldn’t really worry about the not eating thing. When Emma was that I age I think I went about a week before I realized I had only eaten one or two meals lol. Its just something new mommys go through I guess

  • Yeah, co-sleeping and tummy sleeping isn’t great. But guess what? Sleeping on someone’s chest, when they do exactly what your husband does – is fine, for just that reason: Adult wakes up every time baby moves.

    Have you tried swaddling her? It might help you tons! Oh and I was thinking over the weekend – you should check out “The Baby Whisperer.”

    Psst, it could be postpartum depression (especially if you have a history of depression), or it could be something else. I probably had postpartum depression (not severe, though), but I didn’t want to get it checked out, because I wanted to continue nursing. There are probably natural ways to deal with it, though. Just be careful of herbs and stuff – they’re not regulated, and are just natural drugs (opium is natural,too). Hey, at least you have been getting sleep!

    Enjoy the swing!

    • When we first brought her home from the hospital, she loved to be swaddled, but now she kicks out of it faster than you can get her wrapped up. 🙂 She’s like “Hey! Let me OUT of this thing!”

      I’m concerned about getting checked out too, because I want to keep pumping my milk for her, but I think I’m going to make an appointment tomorrow anyway. I’d rather get the help I need and have to switch to formula than not get the help I need and not take care of her properly because I’m too depressed. We’ll see…I hate taking medication for that kind of thing. Maybe I’ll just make an appointment with my therapist. 😛

      • Yeah, they do that. But, if she’s tired, hold her while she’s swaddled, and eventually she’ll learn that that’s how we sleep. And she WILL sleep better swaddled, even if she doesn’t like having her movements constricted when she’s awake.

        You can always try the therapy, along with more frequent showers, more [good] chocolate (has oxytocin and boosts your mood), and getting out for a walk every day. That might help significantly – enough that you don’t necessarily need medication. 🙂

        Oh, also, because you’re a new mother, you have probably been struck with the I’m-Not-A-Good-Enough-Mother-No-Matter-What-I-Do Syndrome, as well as the “Guilt-Plus-Crazy-Hormones Syndrome. So, cut yourself some slack.

  • I had ppd with BOTH of my children (insert eye-rolling, gagging, angry-sound here!) and it sucked big time. But the “good” part about it is that it is totally temporary. Not saying that is what you are facing, but get yourself into your doc to rule it out. 🙂 Hugs.

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