Last week, David and I were supposed to go to the dentist on Tuesday, so I had asked his mom if it would be possible for her to watch Briana for us while we went. She had agreed, and asked if we wanted to spend the night the night before so we could just leave from there in the morning without the hassle of trying to get Briana ready to go. Fabulous! Sounds awesome!
Well, on Sunday, they invited us for dinner, and asked if we didn’t just want to spend the night Sunday night as well as Monday night, since it wouldn’t make much sense to go home and then come back the next night. At first, David declined, but then decided he didn’t want to have to cook (*laughs*) so we agreed to go over.
So on Sunday the 20th we traipsed over to my in-laws house with our assorted baby gear – sleeper, bottles, diaper bag with attached changing pad, toys, clothes, grooming kit, and all the other stuff we seem to trail around like a kite or balloon or….parade….everywhere we go now. We even threw in an overnight bag for ourselves! (Shocker, I know!)
Well, David ended up super sick, and I wasn’t feeling well either, so we ended up not going to the dentist. *sigh* I should have gone anyway, since I lost my insurance yesterday, but that’s a rant for another day.
David was supposed to work the 5AM shift Wednesday through Friday, and his mom normally leaves for work at 5:30, but offered to leave early and drop David on the way so that a) I would have the van in case I needed to go somewhere and b) David wouldn’t have to take off the walking cast to drive to work, or mess with putting it back on once he got there. (Oh, wait…did I mention David is in a cast now? “Oh, no, David, it’s not broken, you don’t need a cast, you need physical therapy.” Physical therapist: “You need a cast and crutches.” Doctor: “Oh….well, yeah, there is a fracture there…” Oy!)
ANYWAY. I am getting distracted again. So she offered to drive him the next day, and we ended up spending the night again. After I picked David up from work that next afternoon, we decided to stay until Friday if his parents were okay with that, because the arrangement had worked nicely (and I really didn’t want to drive him to work at 5 when I generally don’t get to sleep until about 3). Plus, having the extra hands to help with Bri was great! So, two day stay extends to 5 days. Fun stuff.
Only 5 days turned into more than a week! It was so crazy…We didn’t get home until 11PM Tuesday, a week after we were supposed to have gone home!
I was surprised by how much I enjoyed our extended stay. We lived with them for close to two years, starting about six months after we got married, because times were tough and we were trying to save money, and his parents were generous enough to let us come live with them. But I am an independent sort of person, and after eight months or so I started feeling a little…not trapped but…I just felt like we should have our own place again. It took quite a bit longer to get our own place, and poor David got to listen to me complain a lot about wanting more freedom.
Anyway, his mom started making semi-serious jokes about us moving back in with them. David was laughing, but he wasn’t laughing, you know what I mean? (Cue panic! :))
I know there is a world of difference between living there and visiting for a week or so, but what really surprised me is how much I dragged my feet when it was time to go. I felt comfortable there, and had more people to help with Briana, and I wasn’t alone all day every day, because my sister in law works at 4AM, and she would get home at around 10:30 and chat with me for a while before going about the rest of her day. I wasn’t depressed, because it’s hard to be depressed when you have your family around you and they’re all happy and totally smitten with your little girl and amazed by everything she does. (I swear, sometimes I worry that they are more amazed by her than I am…in some twisted way, that makes me feel guilty!)
David could tell that the jokes about moving back in were planting seeds in my mind, and he made moves to head that off by reminding me of how we were really happy there, until we weren’t. He told me he loves his family, but he wants space separate from them, so he can love them from a distance sometimes.
He is so totally right.
But I will still feel extra lonely this week when I wake up in our apartment instead of David’s family’s house. Everyone says “get out of the house, go do something!”
Ugh! Getting out of the house with a baby is…hard! Trying to find time to brush your teeth and put on a clean shirt can be an effort. And by the time you get yourself ready and get the baby ready, there’s always the question of where to go. It’s winter, so I can’t exactly run her up to the park. She’d freeze! The mall is no fun when you’re on a budget, and all my friends are crazy busy with work and their own kids and their own lives. I can’t wait for spring time. I’m going to take this kid to the zoo, and to all the good parks, and hopefully meet some other moms with babies the same age as Bri, or within shouting distance of it, and we’ll have fun while our kids have fun. Or at least make awkward small talk that will hopefully bloom into fun and friendship. 🙂
Anyway.The family visit was beautiful. But I suppose it’s good to be home.
Still a New Mommy
P.S. I’m going to try to write an entry that is ACTUALLY about Briana tomorrow. She’s growing and changing so crazy fast…I feel like I would need to daily updates to really keep you informed, but I don’t have that kind of time!