All posts for the month January, 2013

Holy Family Visit, Batman!

Published January 30, 2013 by JD61088

Last week, David and I were supposed to go to the dentist on Tuesday, so I had asked his mom if it would be possible for her to watch Briana for us while we went. She had agreed, and asked if we wanted to spend the night the night before so we could just leave from there in the morning without the hassle of trying to get Briana ready to go. Fabulous! Sounds awesome!

Well, on Sunday, they invited us for dinner, and asked if we didn’t just want to spend the night Sunday night as well as Monday night, since it wouldn’t make much sense to go home and then come back the next night. At first, David declined, but then decided he didn’t want to have to cook (*laughs*) so we agreed to go over.

So on Sunday the 20th we traipsed over to my in-laws house with our assorted baby gear – sleeper, bottles, diaper bag with attached changing pad, toys, clothes, grooming kit, and all the other stuff we seem to trail around like a kite or balloon or….parade….everywhere we go now. We even threw in an overnight bag for ourselves! (Shocker, I know!)

Well, David ended up super sick, and I wasn’t feeling well either, so we ended up not going to the dentist. *sigh* I should have gone anyway, since I lost my insurance yesterday, but that’s a rant for another day.

David was supposed to work the 5AM shift Wednesday through Friday, and his mom normally leaves for work at 5:30, but offered to leave early and drop David on the way so that a) I would have the van in case I needed to go somewhere and b) David wouldn’t have to take off the walking cast to drive to work, or mess with putting it back on once he got there. (Oh, wait…did I mention David is in a cast now? “Oh, no, David, it’s not broken, you don’t need a cast, you need physical therapy.” Physical therapist: “You need a cast and crutches.” Doctor: “Oh….well, yeah, there is a fracture there…” Oy!)

ANYWAY. I am getting distracted again. So she offered to drive him the next day, and we ended up spending the night again. After I picked David up from work that next afternoon, we decided to stay until Friday if his parents were okay with that, because the arrangement had worked nicely (and I really didn’t want to drive him to work at 5 when I generally don’t get to sleep until about 3). Plus, having the extra hands to help with Bri was great! So, two day stay extends to 5 days. Fun stuff.

Only 5 days turned into more than a week! It was so crazy…We didn’t get home until 11PM Tuesday, a week after we were supposed to have gone home!

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed our extended stay. We lived with them for close to two years, starting about six months after we got married, because times were tough and we were trying to save money, and his parents were generous enough to let us come live with them. But I am an independent sort of person, and after eight months or so I started feeling a little…not trapped but…I just felt like we should have our own place again. It took quite a bit longer to get our own place, and poor David got to listen to me complain a lot about wanting more freedom.

Anyway, his mom started making semi-serious jokes about us moving back in with them. David was laughing, but he wasn’t laughing, you know what I mean? (Cue panic! :))

I know there is a world of difference between living there and visiting for a week or so, but what really surprised me is how much I dragged my feet when it was time to go. I felt comfortable there, and had more people to help with Briana, and I wasn’t alone all day every day, because my sister in law works at 4AM, and she would get home at around 10:30 and chat with me for a while before going about the rest of her day. I wasn’t depressed, because it’s hard to be depressed when you have your family around you and they’re all happy and totally smitten with your little girl and amazed by everything she does. (I swear, sometimes I worry that they are more amazed by her than I am…in some twisted way, that makes me feel guilty!)

David could tell that the jokes about moving back in were planting seeds in my mind, and he made moves to head that off by reminding me of how we were really happy there, until we weren’t. He told me he loves his family, but he wants space separate from them, so he can love them from a distance sometimes.

He is so totally right.

But I will still feel extra lonely this week when I wake up in our apartment instead of David’s family’s house. Everyone says “get out of the house, go do something!”

Ugh! Getting out of the house with a baby is…hard! Trying to find time to brush your teeth and put on a clean shirt can be an effort. And by the time you get yourself ready and get the baby ready, there’s always the question of where to go. It’s winter, so I can’t exactly run her up to the park. She’d freeze! The mall is no fun when you’re on a budget, and all my friends are crazy busy with work and their own kids and their own lives.  I can’t wait for spring time. I’m going to take this kid to the zoo, and to all the good parks, and hopefully meet some other moms with babies the same age as Bri, or within shouting distance of it, and we’ll have fun while our kids have fun. Or at least make awkward small talk that will hopefully bloom into fun and friendship. 🙂

Anyway.The family visit was beautiful. But I suppose it’s good to be home.

Still a New Mommy

P.S. I’m going to try to write an entry that is ACTUALLY about Briana tomorrow. She’s growing and changing so crazy fast…I feel like I would need to daily updates to really keep you informed, but I don’t have that kind of time!

Bri BeeVicious! lol, eating Daddy’s finger…she is chewing on everything now…we think she is teething already, what with all her drooling and chewing and fussing and such.


Nothing in particular…

Published January 15, 2013 by JD61088

I’ve been wanting to sit down and post a new blog entry for quite a while now, but haven’t been able to find the time.

For the past few weeks David and I have been going back and forth on whether or not I should go back to work yet. I finally told him over this past weekend that I am not ready, and that I’m not going to go back yet. So I called my work today to ask about the extended bonding leave that I was told about when I first informed them I was pregnant. What I wasn’t told about was the fact that I am supposed to give thirty days notice that I am going to be taking an extended leave. *sigh* I am supposed to go back to work on the 28th. That’s less than two weeks from now. I was told to talk to my manager.

So I was transferred to my manager, and she said I needed to call someone at the general office, because she didn’t know anything about extended leave. When I tried to call that person, she was already gone for the day, or at least not answering her phone. And of course, by the time I had talked to (or not talked to) these three people, Briana had woken up and started to cry, so I couldn’t leave a message and I will have to try again tomorrow.

I told David I am going to quit if I can’t do the extended leave, and he told me that as long as I didn’t “burn any bridges” he was okay with that. So I will call this one last person tomorrow and find out if it is possible, and then if it’s not, I’m going to tell them I am not coming back after my FMLA is up on the 28th. I love my job, but I love my daughter more, and she will only be a baby once. I am hoping not to quit, but you know, life is what it is, and I’ll do what I have to in order to spend more time with my little Bri-Bee.

We’ll have to rework our budget, but we’ll still get by. About the only thing that really sucks is that I will have to stop going to therapy because I won’t have insurance anymore. Briana will still have insurance, and David is insured through his parents, but I will be uninsured. There is state medical insurance, but I am fairly sure I won’t qualify, and even if I do, my therapist doesn’t accept it. Sucks to be me!

Briana sleeps 7-8 hours at a time now, but she still isn’t on a regular schedule. She falls asleep anywhere between 11:30 at night and 6:00 in the morning. Three nights in a row last week she was up until 6! Good grief. Then it was 5, then 4, then 3. Last night it was 2. I am hoping that eventually she will settle into falling asleep between 11:00 and midnight. I can handle waking up between 6 and 8, because she usually wakes up, is up for two hours, and then sleeps for another two hours or so. That gives me time to either eat or sleep…I usually opt for sleep. (Cue my friend Tracy scolding me for not taking care of myself properly! HA! Got you girl…)

In all seriousness, I probably should take better care of myself…I don’t really eat enough, or drink enough water, and I rarely take any time for just me…although I think that’s normal for most new moms. The past couple of weekends we have stayed with my in-laws, even though they live just ten or fifteen minutes away. It’s been great. I don’t have to cook, but I get fed! And I don’t have to take care of Miss Bri every second! And on Saturday night, my mother in law sent me to bed and stayed up with the baby. So I got twelve hours of sleep. (And woke up with boobs that felt like they were going to explode…I practically ran to get the pump. I pumped 8 ounces from each boob. OUCH…no wonder I was hurting!)

Briana is eating between 4 and 7 ounces, depending on the time of day. I swear, sometimes it seems like she is snacking, and then she’ll want the rest of the bottle in an hour or so. It’s not as annoying as it would be if I was breastfeeding, instead of pumping and feeding her from a bottle, but it is kind of frustrating, because she used to just eat a whole bottle and be good for a couple (3-5) hours. Oh, well. Whatever keeps her happy.

I actually left her with her dad and grandfather and went clothes shopping with my mother in law on Sunday. I got a couple of pairs of jeans and a couple of shirts. I am not thrilled by the larger size I am still needing, but I suppose that will change when I have the time and energy to actually exercise, and when I stop eating highly processed (easy to grab and go) food.

This entry is all over the place…Let me try to focus.

Briana was ten weeks yesterday, and she has changed SO much, I can hardly believe it. She has started to really notice the world around her. She has always been very aware and alert, noticing bright colors and interesting things, but now she is really focusing on them. For example, she noticed my in-laws dog for the first time this weekend. She thought Faith was pretty great! She smiled and laughed and she gasped when Faith got startled and jerked back away from Briana. We helped Briana pet her, and she laughed when her hand touched Faith’s soft (freshly groomed) fur. (She started laughing when she was about 9 weeks old.)

Today I watched her, laying on her play mat, reaching for the toys hanging above her head and working out how to grab onto them. She is absolutely fascinated by everything around her, because everything is new. New shapes, new colors, new, new, new! It’s so fun to watch her discover her own hands, to use for things other than chewing! She coos and smiles and laughs all the time now, and she “talks” and babbles at us. We have pretty interesting conversations, she and I. She “tells me stories” while I sit there and say things like “Oh, yeah? Then what happened?” And if she starts to get fussy but she’s still talking at me, I’ll say “That sounds terrible!” I probably sound absolutely ridiculous, but Briana eats it right up.

She is already trying to sit up on her own, and trying to roll over, and if you help her balance, she is standing up. She’s going to be mobile WAY faster than I am going to be ready to be chasing her around. This girl is already constantly in motion…Once she can crawl, I am going to have to put a bell on her to keep track of her!

Anyway, husband is calling from the other room. He needs me to take Briana. Hopefully you all weren’t too bored by my rambling post!

Possibly a Stay at Home Mommy

Monkey OutfitBathtime hair  Concentration  Smiles

Happy (?) New Year!

Published January 2, 2013 by JD61088

My days and nights have kind of started blurring together. When your baby randomly decides to stay awake until five in the morning (when she usually falls asleep at 1AM and sleeps through until 7 or 8), it makes for living in a  perpetual haze. I don’t understand the random “let’s stay awake all night” days. It’s frustrating. I mean, I’m glad she doesn’t wake up every hour all night long anymore, but the fact that she only randomly stays awake all night almost makes it more frustrating. Since I’m expecting to get at least six hours of sleep at a time, and she’s awake most of the afternoon and evening now, I don’t get the naps I used to when she had no schedule at all.

Ugh. I’ll get over it eventually, but it’s frustrating me right now.

She is growing so fast…I’m almost afraid to take her to her appointment on the 7th…I don’t want to know how much bigger she’s gotten, it’ll make me sad! (On the other hand, I can’t wait to find out…it’s so exciting!) I wish she would tolerate tummy time better. Since we got her activity mat she is doing a bit better with it, but I can’t make myself leave her down there on her tummy once she starts to cry and scream, so I end up picking her up after five minutes or so. She loves that mat when she is lying on her back and can see the toys, but the cute little animals on the mat itself don’t hold her attention for long. It’s so amazing to see her reaching for toys and holding onto them now. She loves rattles right now. It’s very sweet.

I’m still really back and forth about going back to work. David’s job is making it tough to decide, too, because they keep changing his hours. I won’t even give details here, we’ll just leave it at “It’s confusing.” Since his job is our main money-maker, I’ll have to set my hours around his, and if they don’t leave his hours alone, it’s going to be tough to set my availability at work. It’s a frustrating sort of situation.

I’ve been really dizzy lately, and light-headed. I don’t know why. I guess it could be exhaustion, but I’ve gone on less sleep than I’m getting now for longer periods of time. Then there’s the fact that I still haven’t stopped bleeding from having Briana, and it’s been 8 weeks. I went in for my six-week appointment and my doctor told me to call and make another appointment if I hadn’t stopped bleeding by 8 weeks after Briana was born, so I’ll be calling tomorrow. I guess I get to go in for an ultrasound now. *sarcastic cheer* This one won’t be near as exciting as the ones I had while I was pregnant.

I guess I should be more concerned, but I’m too busy to be worried about it. I’m more irritated by it then anything. David’s worried though. At least one of us is watching out for my health. 😛

I went through my closet and took all my maternity clothes out and boxed them up. Yay! No more maternity clothes for me…so I need to either go shopping or get my butt off the couch and get back in shape. At least my old clothes fit me…not well, but well enough to not be embarrassed to be seen in them or anything.

Anyway, I’m off.

Dizzy New Mommy



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