I’ve been wanting to sit down and post a new blog entry for quite a while now, but haven’t been able to find the time.
For the past few weeks David and I have been going back and forth on whether or not I should go back to work yet. I finally told him over this past weekend that I am not ready, and that I’m not going to go back yet. So I called my work today to ask about the extended bonding leave that I was told about when I first informed them I was pregnant. What I wasn’t told about was the fact that I am supposed to give thirty days notice that I am going to be taking an extended leave. *sigh* I am supposed to go back to work on the 28th. That’s less than two weeks from now. I was told to talk to my manager.
So I was transferred to my manager, and she said I needed to call someone at the general office, because she didn’t know anything about extended leave. When I tried to call that person, she was already gone for the day, or at least not answering her phone. And of course, by the time I had talked to (or not talked to) these three people, Briana had woken up and started to cry, so I couldn’t leave a message and I will have to try again tomorrow.
I told David I am going to quit if I can’t do the extended leave, and he told me that as long as I didn’t “burn any bridges” he was okay with that. So I will call this one last person tomorrow and find out if it is possible, and then if it’s not, I’m going to tell them I am not coming back after my FMLA is up on the 28th. I love my job, but I love my daughter more, and she will only be a baby once. I am hoping not to quit, but you know, life is what it is, and I’ll do what I have to in order to spend more time with my little Bri-Bee.
We’ll have to rework our budget, but we’ll still get by. About the only thing that really sucks is that I will have to stop going to therapy because I won’t have insurance anymore. Briana will still have insurance, and David is insured through his parents, but I will be uninsured. There is state medical insurance, but I am fairly sure I won’t qualify, and even if I do, my therapist doesn’t accept it. Sucks to be me!
Briana sleeps 7-8 hours at a time now, but she still isn’t on a regular schedule. She falls asleep anywhere between 11:30 at night and 6:00 in the morning. Three nights in a row last week she was up until 6! Good grief. Then it was 5, then 4, then 3. Last night it was 2. I am hoping that eventually she will settle into falling asleep between 11:00 and midnight. I can handle waking up between 6 and 8, because she usually wakes up, is up for two hours, and then sleeps for another two hours or so. That gives me time to either eat or sleep…I usually opt for sleep. (Cue my friend Tracy scolding me for not taking care of myself properly! HA! Got you girl…)
In all seriousness, I probably should take better care of myself…I don’t really eat enough, or drink enough water, and I rarely take any time for just me…although I think that’s normal for most new moms. The past couple of weekends we have stayed with my in-laws, even though they live just ten or fifteen minutes away. It’s been great. I don’t have to cook, but I get fed! And I don’t have to take care of Miss Bri every second! And on Saturday night, my mother in law sent me to bed and stayed up with the baby. So I got twelve hours of sleep. (And woke up with boobs that felt like they were going to explode…I practically ran to get the pump. I pumped 8 ounces from each boob. OUCH…no wonder I was hurting!)
Briana is eating between 4 and 7 ounces, depending on the time of day. I swear, sometimes it seems like she is snacking, and then she’ll want the rest of the bottle in an hour or so. It’s not as annoying as it would be if I was breastfeeding, instead of pumping and feeding her from a bottle, but it is kind of frustrating, because she used to just eat a whole bottle and be good for a couple (3-5) hours. Oh, well. Whatever keeps her happy.
I actually left her with her dad and grandfather and went clothes shopping with my mother in law on Sunday. I got a couple of pairs of jeans and a couple of shirts. I am not thrilled by the larger size I am still needing, but I suppose that will change when I have the time and energy to actually exercise, and when I stop eating highly processed (easy to grab and go) food.
This entry is all over the place…Let me try to focus.
Briana was ten weeks yesterday, and she has changed SO much, I can hardly believe it. She has started to really notice the world around her. She has always been very aware and alert, noticing bright colors and interesting things, but now she is really focusing on them. For example, she noticed my in-laws dog for the first time this weekend. She thought Faith was pretty great! She smiled and laughed and she gasped when Faith got startled and jerked back away from Briana. We helped Briana pet her, and she laughed when her hand touched Faith’s soft (freshly groomed) fur. (She started laughing when she was about 9 weeks old.)
Today I watched her, laying on her play mat, reaching for the toys hanging above her head and working out how to grab onto them. She is absolutely fascinated by everything around her, because everything is new. New shapes, new colors, new, new, new! It’s so fun to watch her discover her own hands, to use for things other than chewing! She coos and smiles and laughs all the time now, and she “talks” and babbles at us. We have pretty interesting conversations, she and I. She “tells me stories” while I sit there and say things like “Oh, yeah? Then what happened?” And if she starts to get fussy but she’s still talking at me, I’ll say “That sounds terrible!” I probably sound absolutely ridiculous, but Briana eats it right up.
She is already trying to sit up on her own, and trying to roll over, and if you help her balance, she is standing up. She’s going to be mobile WAY faster than I am going to be ready to be chasing her around. This girl is already constantly in motion…Once she can crawl, I am going to have to put a bell on her to keep track of her!
Anyway, husband is calling from the other room. He needs me to take Briana. Hopefully you all weren’t too bored by my rambling post!
Possibly a Stay at Home Mommy