As a parent, but especially as a new mom, it amazes me how many moments I have every day when I look at my daughter and think “you are so amazing” or “you’re so beautiful!” Briana has officially discovered that her toes are fun to play with, and pull on, and try to put in her mouth. Today I was watching her as she sat in her daddy’s lap, and she was pulling on her socks and frowning. Then her whole face lit up, and she grabbed the toe of her sock and pulled it off. She then proceeded to pull on her toes while she laughed. Talk about adorable, right?
Tonight (well, technically this morning, since it was at about 2:30), she had fallen asleep while I was feeding her, and I turned to set her bottle aside, and I looked back and her, and there was something about the expression on her face and the angle I was looking at her…I caught just a glimpse of what she is going to look like when she is a toddler, and it took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. I’m not supposed to see that in her yet! She is only 15 and a half weeks old. Not even four months yet. Where has the time gone?
It seems like just yesterday I was 9 months pregnant and couldn’t wait to meet her. Now almost four months have passed by in the blink of an eye, and she changes and learns so much every day that I can hardly keep up. Everyone always says “Oh, before you know it she’ll be graduating from high school!” It makes me want to cry.
As a stay-at-home mom, I get to spend nearly every waking moment with Briana, and watch all the developments in real-time. I treasure that. But it also breaks my heart a little bit, because as much as I want her to grow and learn and develop, I want her to be little forever. Two of my friends recently had babies, and looking at the newborn pictures online had me remembering how tiny Bri was when we first brought her home. Every day, she outgrows another outfit…Sometimes it literally seems as if they fit when I put them on her in the morning, and she is too big for the outfit by the time I change her into her sleeper at night.
Why do they have to grow up so quickly?
Those moments that take your breath away also end up being the moments you treasure later on. The moments when you catch a glimpse, just the tiniest window, into the amazing things yet to come. The ones you look back on and tell your kids about later, while they roll their eyes at how sappy you’re being, but secretly feel special when they hear them, because it reassures them that they have always been the center of your world.
Maybe I’m not even making sense tonight. I just feel like time is flying by so quickly. I wish there was some way to slow it down. I suppose every parent does.
A Sentimental Mommy
P.S. On a completely unrelated note, for those of you who were asking about how the formula was coming along: we stopped giving it to her. It’s back to 100% breast milk. She did okay with 2 ounces of formula per 6 ounce bottle that she was getting for a couple of days, but then she started to get very gassy and miserable, and not wanting to eat. Went back to a full bottle of plain ole milk, and she sucked it right down. Her tummy troubles are gone, and she’s as smiley as ever. “Breast is best” after all. 🙂