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Mommyhood in Motion

Published July 31, 2013 by jessicalynndunning

My daughter is going through a clingy stage. When I am holding her, she clings to me like I’m going to give her away. She grabs little fistfuls of whatever is handy…my shirt, my hair, my skin…and she holds on for dear life.

As far as I can tell, it’s just with me. She cries when I leave the room. She cries when I set her down. She cries when I put her in the car seat (which is something new, as she’s always been pretty easy with getting into and out of the car seat). She screams if I walk from the living room (where she spends the majority of her time) to the kitchen (which is five feet away) without making sure she comes with me.

I love Briana…but I hope that this stage passes quickly.

I don’t mind holding her, and I love that she wants to spend time with me. But I can’t eat without her wanting into my lap or crawling up my leg, and I can’t take three seconds to shoot off a text without her trying to grab my phone or screaming because I’m not holding her. She doesn’t do this to David, mind you, it’s just me!

Does it make me a bad mom that today I was basically telling David to keep her away from me, so I could have five minutes of non-squirmy-wiggly-wants-my-attention-baby time?

It’s mentally exhausting, not to mention physically. She’s no newborn anymore! She’s heavy! And long. And squirmy. It’s like wrestling a bag of snakes. A 20 plus pound bag. Of angry snakes. Who wiggle. A lot.

Anyway. She’s a clingy wiggly little girl right now. Aside from that she’s dandy.

She has learned to clap. She says “mama” and “dada.” She says “ba-ba” when she wants a bottle and she says “hi”…sometimes…if she feels like it. She’s learning to wave at people, but is shy about waving to anyone other than mommy or daddy right now.

Bri likes to throw things right now. Especially noisy things. She picks up a noisy toy, bangs it on the floor (or couch) and then throws it on the floor. Then she bends down and picks it up and repeats the process. It’s very cute! And noisy. Did I say noisy already?

She has gotten quite vocal in the past couple of weeks. She’s always been vocal, but it’s constant babbling now, in her own personal made-up language. I hear that’s precursor to starting to talk, and I swear I’m hearing real words mixed up in there sometimes, but she babbles so constantly that I can’t always catch and identify it in time to make a big deal out of it and encourage her to use the word again.

Another way she has gotten vocal is to scream, very loudly, any time you take anything away that she wants. Especially mommy or daddy’s keys. That’s a big deal, apparently. So I’ve learned that if I have to leave the house, drive, get the mail, or anything else that requires keys in the next six hours or so, it’s a good idea to hide the keys from the baby. Otherwise, it’s a capital offense.

For a few weeks, Briana was chowing down on solid food. She was seriously eating (pretty much) four full servings of food at each sitting, three times a day…Well, three at breakfast. Cereal, fruit, and yogurt at breakfast, then a meat, veggie, fruit, and yogurt for lunch and dinner. She wasn’t gaining a huge amount of weight, so I just figured she was about to have a growth spurt or that she had a fast metabolism or something.

In the last few days, however, that’s changed. She eats maybe two full containers, combined, of the same mix. (Cereal, fruit, yogurt for breakfast, some sort of meat, veggie, fruit, yogurt for lunch and dinner.) It’s a big reduction in her food intake, and I was worried at first, but she is still eating all her bottles, so maybe she is just done with her growth spurt or whatever it was that was requiring her to eat a four course meal for every meal? I’m going to mention it to her doctor on Monday, but at this point I’m honestly  not really concerned. It could even be that we’re just paying more attention to her cues, and realizing she is full and/or done with what we’re offering, whereas before we weren’t paying attention? I don’t know. Either way, she’s eating way less solid food now.

Briana likes Ritz crackers and cheerios. And apple juice. Let’s not forget the apple juice. We’re only giving her a tiny bit at a time, to encourage her to learn how to use her sippy cup. I’ve tried giving her formula in a sippy cup with no luck. I’d really like her to be done with bottles sooner rather than later (like on or before her first birthday, really). Does anyone have any tips? (Again, I’ll be asking her doctor on Monday at her nine month check up, but it never hurts to get an opinion from the general public either.)

I think Briana is going to walk soon. She really only holds onto the furniture very lightly now, for balance, and I’ve seen her stand unsupported for a second or two at a time, almost like she doesn’t realize she’s doing it. She’s reaching from one piece of the furniture to another and “transferring” to that other piece as well, turning almost all the way around to do it. I’m not saying she’s going to walk tomorrow, but I do think she’ll probably walk before her first birthday.

It amazes me that 9 months ago, she was a precious little bundle in a pink swaddling blanket who couldn’t even roll all the way over. How quickly our babies grow and learn!

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Briana grew out of her infant carrier. Finally! (I say finally because everyone warned us that infant carriers were a “waste of money” because we would only get about 3 months of use out of it.” Considering Briana turns 9 months in five days, and we just now had to buy a new seat, I’d say we did considerably better than people were saying we would.

I was hoping to buy a really nice Graco brand model that I had found online, but Briana kind of snuck up on the weight limit without me noticing it, and I weighed her and panicked because she needed a new seat now. Since I didn’t have $300 lying around to buy the one I wanted, I had to go and shop around a bit and see what I could find. I ended up buying a Safety First Alpha 65 model. I talked to the employee at the store about all the different models and which ones were best, and which ones to avoid. I would have loved to get a Britax seat, but the price was again, out of my range.

I wasn’t thrilled (at first) with my choice, but that was purely based on the fact it wasn’t the one I had originally chosen. I tend to choose something and then get stuck on it, even if I find one that works just as well. Once I got it home and started playing with it and working with it and adjusting the straps and such, I realized it’s actually easier to use than the model I had originally chosen…and just as safe!

We installed it today. We let Bri test it in the living room first.

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Doesn’t she just look adorable? Anyway, that’s the seat. I actually really like it. And the pattern reminds me of fireworks, which is cute! And it’s a 3 in 1. So I can keep her rear-facing up to 40 pounds, and then forward facing up to 65 pounds. And then it changes into a seatbelt positioning booster seat, and can be used up to 100 pounds or until she gets too tall for it (or until she can safely sit in the seat without it)!

We still need to buy a seat for David’s car, which will probably end up being the seat that get’s left with babysitters and family and such when we drop her off somewhere, because there is no way I’m taking my car seat in and out every day when I go to work. It’s easy to install, but not that easy, and there’s no way I can do it while juggling Briana. So we need at least one more seat.
 
We’ll probably go with a Cosco or a cheaper version of what we already have. The person I spoke with at the store assured me (or rather reassured me, since I already knew) that all car seats are subject to the same federal regulations, and that while some models (like Britax) go above and beyond, even the 50 dollar seats will keep my precious baby girl safe in the horrible event that we get into a car crash with her in the car.
 
Honestly, I’m hoping to make it back into the store tomorrow to just buy the same exact model…it’s on sale right now – $30 off! Woot. A steal.
 
This blog is getting a bit long. I only mentioned the car seat at all because I wanted to share that it was sort of sad, taking her infant car seat base out of the car and installing her “big girl” car seat. It was concrete proof that Briana really is growing and changing with every passing moment, and I’ll never get those days back. And while David and I plan on having more children, I will never again be a “first time mom.”
 
Maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but putting the larger seat in the car felt like a big moment in my Mommy Journey. Briana is turning 9 months old on Monday, and then it will only be three months until she is a year old.
 
I was planning on writing this blog until she was a year old, and then changing the name or starting a new blog, since obviously I won’t really be able to claim “new mom” status after my baby turns a year old. Plus, in the future, when I have more babies, having a blog with the url “brianasmommy.wordpress.com” may upset my future youngins. 🙂
 
Anyway. My point is…life is ever changing and passing by unbelievably fast. I’m going to have to work hard to keep up.
 

Relishing my Quickly Passing “New Mom” Status

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Ugly Duckling

Published July 20, 2013 by jessicalynndunning

This is not a mom post in the strictest sense, but it is generally related to being a mother. I know lots of mothers who struggle with body image issues (me included) and lots of women who don’t think of themselves as particularly attractive. I am one of those women, one of those mothers.

I was a cute little girl, but God help me I was an ugly tween/teenager, with all of the awkward stages and gaunt faces and knobby elbows and knees that came along with it. My face was too bony, my nose was too big, and my breasts were too small. I didn’t have the body or face or hair that I wanted, the being that fit into the mold of perfect beauty that I had in my head.

I have carried that opinion of myself ever since…an ugly duckling who never turned into a beautiful swan.

But today, something happened.

I had spent the day at the zoo with my family, and we were taking pictures all day, and when we went through the pictures I kept noticing something different an I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Something was different about me, not matching up with the self-image I carry around deep inside where no one can see.

And after I finished looking at the pictures, I headed into the bedroom to get something, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored closet doors, and that something different was nagging at me again, so I stepped over to the mirror and looked closely at myself.

Looking closely at my reflection is something I’ve avoided for quite some time. Since I “knew” I was ugly, I didn’t really see any reason to focus on more than getting my hair into a ponytail and making sure my face and teeth were clean of a morning.

But today, I really looked.

I set aside my fifteen years of self-image issues. And looked at my reflection objectively, as I would if I were looking at someone else. And I was absolutely astonished to find that some time in the last five years, my “ugly duckling” self had finally morphed into that beautiful swan.

I stared hard at my face in the mirror and couldn’t believe what I saw. That awkward, bad skinned, bony faced, gigantic nosed teenager was gone…replaced by a moderately attractive looking 25 year old woman. How amazing!

What I had seen that was different in those photos today was a face that wasn’t smiling through the pain of ugliness. I was truly happy to be at the zoo with my husband, my little girl, an my family, and thus forgot to feel self conscious and awkward, and it showed in the photographs. I looked beautiful. I look beautiful. I am beautiful.

I’m not perfect. I need to get in shape and lose some weight (although I did hit my pre-pregnancy weight the other day…yay!), but my face, my general shape, my self…I’m a beautiful person.

How many of our “flaws” are seen through false lenses of judgement? How much of our “ugliness” is in our own head?

Today, set aside your set judgement of yourself and look at your reflection like its a stranger. What surprises will you find? I found a beautiful woman where I expected to find an ugly girl. I know you’ll also like what you see.

Changing our self image to a realistic one can only help us, and our daughters. If their mothers can recognize their own beauty, our daughters will be more likely to be able to recognize their own.

A Beautiful Mother

P.S. Someone at work told me I was absolutely ravishing the other day, and I thought he was making fun of me. Is it too late to feel gratified by the compliment? 😉

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Struggling to sleep…and to stay awake.

Published July 19, 2013 by jessicalynndunning

My sleep schedule is totally turned around right now. At night, I can’t sleep. And during the day, I am struggling to remain awake enough to care properly for my daughter.

Don’t panic or report me to the authorities just yet, hear me out first!

I get up with her in the morning and feed her and change her, and usually sit on the floor with her and play with her. But lately I’ve been sitting on the floor to play and waking up with her crawling all over me, pulling my hair, banging on my face. Now, we have the living room baby proofed, and blocked off so she can’t get out and explore the rest of the apartment, since we are still trying to get everything unpacked and put away, and I feel that the rest of the apartment isn’t truly safe for exploration yet. But I still feel guilty every time I wake up to find she has been effectively left to her own devices while mommy snoozed on the floor.

I have been having panic attacks at night, which makes me anxious that I’ll have more, which gets my adrenaline pumping, which in turn keeps me awake and causes me to panic about not getting sleep, which in turn leads to more panic attacks. It’s a pretty vicious cycle. I’ve had problems with anxiety since high school, but I had kept it under pretty good control since having Briana. Luckily (or perhaps because of sheer determination on my part) I have not yet had a panic attack while caring for Bri. It’s always been after she is asleep and it’s time to start settling down for the night.

David helps me through my panic attacks when I truly can’t get them under control myself (like this morning – Thursday morning – when from about 1 in the morning until about 5 I was practically hyperventilating…I finally had to wake him up to just break my panic cycle and help me talk myself down.)

If he hadn’t have come home sick from work again today, I would have been trying to care for Briana on 2 hours of sleep. And, as it is, David should have been resting, not taking care of Briana, so that made me feel even more guilty.

I am hoping that once I get insurance again (which should be sometime after August 24th), I can get in and talk to a doctor about my anxiety, but until then, I am really on my own. Have any of you ever struggled with anxiety and insomnia that stems from anxiety? Do you have any suggestions on how to calm myself down on my own?

I am forcing myself to get off of the computer and go lay down after I am finished with this blog, but I feel wide awake, and I’m already feeling stressed that I won’t get any sleep. Even though I know that I am working myself up, I can’t seem to stop myself from letting the anxiety take over just before bedtime. It’s very frustrating, all the more so because I know how ridiculous it is.

I am hoping that I can get past whatever is causing me to be so anxious again quickly, so that I can start getting some restful sleep (as much restful sleep as can be managed with a teething, clingy eight month old) and keeping my eyes open during playtime. Either that, or I just need to get an IV drip of caffeine.

One Tired Mommy

Diaper rash, a sick husband, and a migraine…

Published July 18, 2013 by jessicalynndunning

Today was rough. Brutal would be a more accurate description, at least for this morning. (Well, it’s 1AM, so technically I am referring to yesterday, but anyway…)

I had a cold last week, and it hit my husband like a freight train on Tuesday night. So Wednesday morning, he ended up calling in to work. (We’ll leave the gentle teasing about staying home for his cold when I worked through mine last week until he feels better. :))

On Tuesday morning, before David started to feel sick, I noticed that Briana’s bottom was just a tiny bit pink. Not really full on diaper rash yet, but getting there, so I put some Butt Paste on it after making sure her skin was nice and dry, and did that for each diaper change for the rest of the day. Well, fast forward to this morning (Wednesday) and it had gone from a tiny bit pink to full on red and raw. Last night for her last diaper change, David said it was barely pink anymore, so we’re not sure why it went from “barely there” to “raw to the touch” overnight, but I felt TERRIBLE this morning changing her diaper, because she was in obvious pain.

I was in pain, too. I woke up with a migraine. A really terrible full-on migraine with nausea and light sensitivity and pain all down my neck and into my back. I haven’t had a migraine since I got pregnant with Bri, and I was hoping that I wouldn’t get them anymore. Apparently I’m not that lucky.

Moving on.

So we started the day with David feeling so crummy he didn’t want to move, a screaming baby with terrible diaper rash, and me with my migraine trying to take care of them both. Oy! I felt a little overwhelmed. But I survived.

I remembered reading on a mommy board somewhere that if the diaper rash is really bad, any sort of baby wipe can make it worse and be extremely painful for your baby. I remembered the same board mentioning that cotton balls soaked in lukewarm water are better and don’t leave any residue behind on the poor baby’s bottom. So I did that instead, and while she still whined and tried to get away from me by lifting her back and rolling, she was no longer screaming in pain. So that was an improvement. I let her lay on the changing table for quite a while with no diaper on, playing with a toy while I stood there and talked to her, to make sure she was good and dry before I put her cream on her. Initially the contact of my finger seemed to hurt her, but she calmed down almost immediately once the cream made contact with her skin, so I am hoping that it gave her some relief.

After the diaper change and a bottle, all three of us went back to bed.

When Briana woke up again, my head felt better but my neck and back felt worse. So I was mean and made my sick husband take care of the baby for a couple of hours so I could get some more rest. It didn’t help, really, but at least I got some extra sleep?

I guess the whole point of this post is to just vent. Not the way I would have chosen to spend my morning and early afternoon, but again, I survived it, and so did David and Briana.

In other, random news, Briana is going to be taking her first trip to the zoo on Saturday, and we’re making it a family affair. Both sets of grandparents are coming, and my aunt and uncle and cousin are coming. My older brother and his wife are bringing two of their kids, and Briana’s godfather is coming as well. It’s going to be so much fun! Hopefully I will get some good pictures that I can share.

Did I tell you guys Briana says “mama” now? She says “dada” too, but mama came first! And today I am almost sure that she said “num” or “nummy” during her lunchtime meal of fruit and yogurt. How cool is that? My baby is growing up. *tear* Not ready for this…but so excited at the same time!

For those of you who saw my earlier blog about Toby, he has had his surgery now and is recovering at the hospital. He had been moved out of cardiac ICU, but unfortunately was moved back in over the weekend with some fluid in his lungs causing him breathing problems. If you pray, please pray for him. If you don’t, please keep him in your thoughts!

That’s just about all I have for you today folks. Sorry it wasn’t more entertaining. Don’t forget to like my Facebook page! Here’s the address: https://www.facebook.com/MisadventuresOfANewMom?ref=hl

A Tired Mommy

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Patience? What’s that?

Published July 11, 2013 by jessicalynndunning

I have never been a very patient person. This is true in pretty much every facet of my life….at work (people unload their carts too slowly), while driving (um, hello? You’re driving five under the speed limit!), even trying to understand stuff while I was in school (why can’t I just get it?). I am impatient.

With Briana, I have learned patience. And it has helped me enormously when trying to get her to eat or waiting for her to sleep for a nap, or struggling to do a diaper change on a wiggly little monster baby who knows just when to twist away from me to make things the most difficult. It’s even helped me during playtime with her.

But at night, when she wakes up, there’s a limit. I am extraordinarily patient for the first half hour. I am patient for the second half hour. I am holding onto my patience by the skin of my teeth for the half hour after that. But, almost uniformly, if she hits two hours of wakefulness in the middle of the night, I lose it…quickly.

It isn’t a fun feeling. Longing for sleep and knowing she will be awake again at six in the morning no matter what…having her almost asleep and having her eyes shoot open for no reason whatsoever. Having her asleep six different times but having her wake up as soon as you shift or try to set her down.

I realize this is at least partially my fault for rocking her to sleep. But that worked for us, for seven months. I don’t know why the last month has been so difficult. I know we need to transition into another routine for bed, but I am not here at night and can’t force my husband to follow the routine I have suggested numerous times. I have two nights a week when I am home for bedtime…all other nights she is asleep when I get home…at least initially.

Tonight, she woke at midnight as I was getting ready to go to sleep. I picked her up and relished the extra time I got to snuggle her before bed. I rocked her, and had her almost asleep again when David walked in to go to bed and she woke up ready to play.

*sigh*

At two, I put her in her crib and walked out because, like clockwork, after two long hours of rocking and holding and swaying and PATIENCE, I needed to put her down because I was starting to freak out. When it reaches that point, it’s time for a break.

I walked out of the bedroom and closed the bedroom door. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch. I started breathing deeply and counting my breaths…in for ten, hold for five, out for ten. I heard David get up and I heard him shushing her. I stayed away. I will have my patience back in the morning, but for now, it’s hiding from me. And an impatient mom won’t do Briana any good.

I don’t really understand why two hours seems to be my mental limit. I wonder if I didn’t have a clock if it would be the same, or if it is the knowledge that I have spent two hours trying to get her to sleep that makes me impatient. A question for another day.

Bri is asleep now, so it’s safe to head in to bed.

A (Working on being more) Patient Mommy

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Today was beautiful

Published July 8, 2013 by jessicalynndunning

Today should have been hard. I didn’t sleep last night. Not “I had trouble sleeping” or “didn’t sleep well,” just plain old “I didn’t sleep.” I’m not sure why, though I’m leaning towards blaming the abundance of caffeine that I had late in the day yesterday. Whatever the reason though, today should have been a monster, but it wasn’t.

Briana woke up right after David left for work, which isn’t unusual. Her crib is right next to my side of the bed, and when she grinned over at me laying there (wide awake), I started playing peek-a-boo with her with my sheets. She laughed and giggled and just thought that was the greatest thing. And I guess I did doze off for a few moments then, because the next thing I knew I was having to move her crib further away from the window because she was playing with the blinds.

With that done and safely out of the way, I scooped Briana up out of her crib and kissed her face until she could barely breathe for laughing. She squealed and buried her face in my shoulder and just laughed and laughed. It made my heart so happy to hear her laugh like that. Sheer happiness, unchecked. Babies are good reminders for how one should experience joy.

We did the diaper change/wrestling match thing that has become our morning ritual (“No, Briana, lie still for Mommy. No Briana, you can’t grab the dirty diaper. No Briana, please don’t roll over right now!”), and then I gave her a bottle.

I haven’t really gotten into her feeding schedule lately. Bri is really only eating about four 4 ounce bottles a day now, with three solid feedings in there for good measure. If she wakes up in the night (or early hours of the morning), she sometimes ends up having five bottles, but we only make four and then mix more as needed, since otherwise it can go to waste.

Since she was still acting hungry after the bottle, even though it was about 45 minutes earlier than usual, I went ahead and plunked her in her high chair and got her breakfast ready. Oatmeal, fruit, and yogurt. This morning it was mangoes for the fruit, and so far peach yogurt is all I’ve given her. 

Feeding Briana cracks me up. She makes the funniest faces, and the funniest noises, and her face just gets covered in whatever she’s eating, because she is so busy looking around at everything that the spoon frequently hits her cheek instead of her mouth. Feeding time is a fun filled time.

One thing I’ve regretted over the past few weeks is that Briana is too busy to snuggle with me much anymore unless she is really sleepy. But this morning, she wanted to be in my lap, and she just lay there chewing on a toy and reaching up to touch my face every now and again. When she started to get really sleepy again I took her back into the bedroom and got her to go back to sleep. I managed to snag some shut-eye too, but she only slept for an hour or so.

Up we went again. We played and played and laughed and played. We “flew” around the living room, and we knocked things together to make noise, and she cruised all along the furniture and kept trying to step away from the couch and tumbling down and giggling like it was the funniest thing in the world to fall on the carpet. We made a mess and spread all of her toys all over the living room and she crawled from toy to toy to toy faster than I could keep up, lifting each one up to show me before tossing it back on the carpet and crawling to the next. Her energy levels are exhausting, but the sheer delight she takes in everything around her is energizing and fun.

She follows me about the apartment now instead of sitting in the living room and crying when I walk out of the room. I have to be careful when I turn from the dryer with a pile of clean laundry in my arms, or I might step on some tiny fingers. And when I’m in the kitchen, I can’t really cook unless I strap her in her high chair or put her in her activity stand, because I’m afraid I’ll drop something on her by accident and she’ll get burned. Today she “helped” me do the laundry by pulling everything out of the laundry basket while I folded clothes. 🙂

She was just so happy today, and I feel like I was more engaged and energetic with her than I have been in a few weeks – really since I started working again. I’ve been feeling down.

Today wasn’t really abnormal…we always play. But it was such a POSITIVE day, with no meltdowns or crying fits (aside from changing time), and I should have been exhausted and grumpy but I just enjoyed spending time with my little ball of energy before I had to go into work. I felt like I was a good mom today, rather than a depressed mom trying to go through the motions before passing my daughter off to someone else and forcing myself to go to work. I was missing out on the joy because I was focused on the pain of leaving her to go back to work.

Beautiful was just the word that kept coming to mind today when she smiled at me with her cute little one-tooth smile, or laughed with me, or buried her little face against me. “She’s beautiful. Her smile is beautiful. My daughter is beautiful.”

Today was beautiful.

A Beautiful Mommy

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These are the only two pictures I managed to get of her today, since she was in perpetual motion!

I can’t keep up with my little one!

Published July 2, 2013 by jessicalynndunning

I have been meaning to get back here and blog, and for some reason it just hasn’t worked out that way…mainly because I have been so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. 🙂

Miss Briana will be 8 months old on the 5th of July. Eight months! Really? Where did my little newborn go?

Briana never sits still anymore. She pulls herself up on everything in sight, but only when she isn’t crawling circles around me or pulling all of her toys out of the little bin I keep them in. She tries to roll over during diaper changes, and thinks its great fun to escape with no diaper at all.

Briana finally had a tooth pop through, and doesn’t understand why it suddenly isn’t okay to chew on mommy or daddy’s fingers.

She only eats four 4 ounce bottles a day now, but is eating a lot more solids than she used to. Oatmeal, fruit, and yogurt for breakfast. Vegetables and fruit and yogurt for lunch. (We tried to introduce meat without success. We are going to try again on Saturday.) And veggies and fruit for dinner.

She is just changing so much every day! It is exciting but it breaks my heart, all at the same time.

I have really been struggling with the whole being a working mom thing. It’s been just over a month since I went back to work, and it still breaks my heart every time I leave her with her uncle or grandpa or godmother so I can head to work. I had a meltdown a week or so ago. I told David how desperately unhappy I am working outside our home and not being a stay at home mom for Briana. I cried. I begged him to let me quit.

He hugged me an let me cry and yell and bluster. And then he gave me a reality check: we can’t afford for me to be a SAHM. If we could, I wouldn’t have gone back to work in the first place. He had let me stay home as long as we could afford it, maybe even a little longer than we really could. We need my income, and we have got to do what we have to in order to support ourselves and our daughter.

*sigh*

He’s right. But that doesn’t really make me feel any better about not being home with Bri. Since I go to work so late in the day, she is always asleep by the time I get home. And since putting her to bed was always MY thing before I went back to work, both Briana and I have had a terrible time adjusting to not having that special pre-bedtime bonding time any more.

I know there are people with worse problems out there. But I am sad, and wish that things could be different. I absolutely loved being a SAHM, even after days that had me in tears, I felt like I could say “What I am doing is important, and I love being here.” Can’t say that about working at a grocery store.

Anyway, enough complaining and sad talk!

I can’t promise to blog more often, so I won’t. 🙂 I do have a Facebook Page now, if you’re interested, though in haven’t done much with it yet. Just search for MisAdventures of a New Mom and you should be able to find it!

A Sad (Not) Stay At Home Mommy

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