I can’t keep up with my little one!

Published July 2, 2013 by jessicalynndunning

I have been meaning to get back here and blog, and for some reason it just hasn’t worked out that way…mainly because I have been so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. 🙂

Miss Briana will be 8 months old on the 5th of July. Eight months! Really? Where did my little newborn go?

Briana never sits still anymore. She pulls herself up on everything in sight, but only when she isn’t crawling circles around me or pulling all of her toys out of the little bin I keep them in. She tries to roll over during diaper changes, and thinks its great fun to escape with no diaper at all.

Briana finally had a tooth pop through, and doesn’t understand why it suddenly isn’t okay to chew on mommy or daddy’s fingers.

She only eats four 4 ounce bottles a day now, but is eating a lot more solids than she used to. Oatmeal, fruit, and yogurt for breakfast. Vegetables and fruit and yogurt for lunch. (We tried to introduce meat without success. We are going to try again on Saturday.) And veggies and fruit for dinner.

She is just changing so much every day! It is exciting but it breaks my heart, all at the same time.

I have really been struggling with the whole being a working mom thing. It’s been just over a month since I went back to work, and it still breaks my heart every time I leave her with her uncle or grandpa or godmother so I can head to work. I had a meltdown a week or so ago. I told David how desperately unhappy I am working outside our home and not being a stay at home mom for Briana. I cried. I begged him to let me quit.

He hugged me an let me cry and yell and bluster. And then he gave me a reality check: we can’t afford for me to be a SAHM. If we could, I wouldn’t have gone back to work in the first place. He had let me stay home as long as we could afford it, maybe even a little longer than we really could. We need my income, and we have got to do what we have to in order to support ourselves and our daughter.

*sigh*

He’s right. But that doesn’t really make me feel any better about not being home with Bri. Since I go to work so late in the day, she is always asleep by the time I get home. And since putting her to bed was always MY thing before I went back to work, both Briana and I have had a terrible time adjusting to not having that special pre-bedtime bonding time any more.

I know there are people with worse problems out there. But I am sad, and wish that things could be different. I absolutely loved being a SAHM, even after days that had me in tears, I felt like I could say “What I am doing is important, and I love being here.” Can’t say that about working at a grocery store.

Anyway, enough complaining and sad talk!

I can’t promise to blog more often, so I won’t. 🙂 I do have a Facebook Page now, if you’re interested, though in haven’t done much with it yet. Just search for MisAdventures of a New Mom and you should be able to find it!

A Sad (Not) Stay At Home Mommy

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