breast milk

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General updates about Bri-Bee!

Published February 13, 2013 by JD61088

I always seem to start my blogs by saying that I meant to blog sooner. It’s repetitive and boring, and obvious. I’ll try to be more entertaining.

Briana is doing fabulously. I can’t believe how fast she is growing, learning, and changing. David and I were talking about how she is so fascinated by things around her, whether it be a reflection in a window, light playing off of a shiny surface, someone making a noise she has never heard, or the pattern on a particular blanket. Everything is new to her, so everything amazes her.

She still isn’t in love with tummy time, but she tolerates it more now. She seems to be right on the verge of crawling already. This is both exciting and terrifying, given that once she is mobile, I will have not a single moment of peace…Maybe I’ll fashion an ankle bracelet with bells for her, so I can at least keep track of her. She is such a little adventurer, I know she is going to give me heart palpitations.

She can almost sit up, as well. In fact, if she is propped on our arm, she can pull herself the rest of the way up. She did it in her sleep the other night. She was laying on her back on David’s left arm and, still 100% asleep, she flipped over to his right arm, ending up on her stomach. It made us laugh.

She supports her full weight on her legs. A couple of weeks ago, I was holding her waist as she sat in my lap, and she pushed herself up onto her feet, and then grinned at me like “Ha! Mommy! I stood up! Yay me!” And then she giggled and bent her knees and sat down and looked surprised, like “Whoa, Mom. What just happened?” She does that a lot now, except her look of surprise when she sits down has changed to grins and giggles. “I meant to do that Mom, aren’t I funny?”

She “talks” almost constantly now. As I type this, I am having a “conversation” with her while she sits in her daddy’s lap. She mostly says “oh! oh! oh! ooh! ah! ah! ah! ooooh!” But she throws in the occasional “Waaaaooooooooooooh” or a scream of pure delight just to keep things entertaining. I talk back to her, and laugh with her, and tickle her. Sometimes I imitate her, which makes her giggle, and sometimes I make up stories and pretend she is contributing. Either way makes her happy!

I love how excited Briana gets when her daddy starts talking to her. When he gets home from work I usually hand her over so he can say hi, and her whole face just lights up like “Hey, I know you! You’re awesome! You fly me around the living room and tell me I’m a princess!”

I still haven’t gotten her to sleep in her crib for more than a half hour or so at a time. She still sleeps in her Fisher Price Rock ‘n’ Play Sleeper in by our bed. Sometimes she sleeps in her crib for a nap. David and I want to move her crib into our room. I’m not ready to have her sleeping in another room yet. I know, I know…if I wasn’t a new mommy! But I am, and I’m not ready, so hush!

We have started (very slowly) transitioning to formula. She gets six-ounce bottles now, and one ounce of that is formula. I wanted to do breast milk exclusively until she could start getting solid foods, but since I am pumping and not breastfeeding, it got to be a bit too much. It really isn’t fun when your nipples are cracked and bleeding and sore to the touch from using the pump every five hours all day (and night) long. Now I pump only three times a day. Relief, relief, relief! And since we are transitioning slowly, she’ll still be getting breast milk for another month and a half, two months. Maybe more, I don’t know. We’ll see how my supply holds up only pumping three times a day, and how well she does when we start upping the amount of formula she is getting in her bottle. Since we started adding an ounce of formula to her bottle, she has actually not been spitting up as much. So far so good!

I think my favorite thing Briana is doing now (other than her burying her face in my neck and falling asleep) is holding onto her toys and chewing on them. (Her two top front teeth are coming in already…yikes.) She is so cute waving them around and shaking them and feeling the different textures.

Anyway, baby is crying so I have to cut this short. I’ll have to come back and post pictures later! We’ll end it saying that being a stay at home mom is awesome! I’m so glad I made this decision.

A Happy New Stay at Home Mommy!




Nothing in particular…

Published January 15, 2013 by JD61088

I’ve been wanting to sit down and post a new blog entry for quite a while now, but haven’t been able to find the time.

For the past few weeks David and I have been going back and forth on whether or not I should go back to work yet. I finally told him over this past weekend that I am not ready, and that I’m not going to go back yet. So I called my work today to ask about the extended bonding leave that I was told about when I first informed them I was pregnant. What I wasn’t told about was the fact that I am supposed to give thirty days notice that I am going to be taking an extended leave. *sigh* I am supposed to go back to work on the 28th. That’s less than two weeks from now. I was told to talk to my manager.

So I was transferred to my manager, and she said I needed to call someone at the general office, because she didn’t know anything about extended leave. When I tried to call that person, she was already gone for the day, or at least not answering her phone. And of course, by the time I had talked to (or not talked to) these three people, Briana had woken up and started to cry, so I couldn’t leave a message and I will have to try again tomorrow.

I told David I am going to quit if I can’t do the extended leave, and he told me that as long as I didn’t “burn any bridges” he was okay with that. So I will call this one last person tomorrow and find out if it is possible, and then if it’s not, I’m going to tell them I am not coming back after my FMLA is up on the 28th. I love my job, but I love my daughter more, and she will only be a baby once. I am hoping not to quit, but you know, life is what it is, and I’ll do what I have to in order to spend more time with my little Bri-Bee.

We’ll have to rework our budget, but we’ll still get by. About the only thing that really sucks is that I will have to stop going to therapy because I won’t have insurance anymore. Briana will still have insurance, and David is insured through his parents, but I will be uninsured. There is state medical insurance, but I am fairly sure I won’t qualify, and even if I do, my therapist doesn’t accept it. Sucks to be me!

Briana sleeps 7-8 hours at a time now, but she still isn’t on a regular schedule. She falls asleep anywhere between 11:30 at night and 6:00 in the morning. Three nights in a row last week she was up until 6! Good grief. Then it was 5, then 4, then 3. Last night it was 2. I am hoping that eventually she will settle into falling asleep between 11:00 and midnight. I can handle waking up between 6 and 8, because she usually wakes up, is up for two hours, and then sleeps for another two hours or so. That gives me time to either eat or sleep…I usually opt for sleep. (Cue my friend Tracy scolding me for not taking care of myself properly! HA! Got you girl…)

In all seriousness, I probably should take better care of myself…I don’t really eat enough, or drink enough water, and I rarely take any time for just me…although I think that’s normal for most new moms. The past couple of weekends we have stayed with my in-laws, even though they live just ten or fifteen minutes away. It’s been great. I don’t have to cook, but I get fed! And I don’t have to take care of Miss Bri every second! And on Saturday night, my mother in law sent me to bed and stayed up with the baby. So I got twelve hours of sleep. (And woke up with boobs that felt like they were going to explode…I practically ran to get the pump. I pumped 8 ounces from each boob. OUCH…no wonder I was hurting!)

Briana is eating between 4 and 7 ounces, depending on the time of day. I swear, sometimes it seems like she is snacking, and then she’ll want the rest of the bottle in an hour or so. It’s not as annoying as it would be if I was breastfeeding, instead of pumping and feeding her from a bottle, but it is kind of frustrating, because she used to just eat a whole bottle and be good for a couple (3-5) hours. Oh, well. Whatever keeps her happy.

I actually left her with her dad and grandfather and went clothes shopping with my mother in law on Sunday. I got a couple of pairs of jeans and a couple of shirts. I am not thrilled by the larger size I am still needing, but I suppose that will change when I have the time and energy to actually exercise, and when I stop eating highly processed (easy to grab and go) food.

This entry is all over the place…Let me try to focus.

Briana was ten weeks yesterday, and she has changed SO much, I can hardly believe it. She has started to really notice the world around her. She has always been very aware and alert, noticing bright colors and interesting things, but now she is really focusing on them. For example, she noticed my in-laws dog for the first time this weekend. She thought Faith was pretty great! She smiled and laughed and she gasped when Faith got startled and jerked back away from Briana. We helped Briana pet her, and she laughed when her hand touched Faith’s soft (freshly groomed) fur. (She started laughing when she was about 9 weeks old.)

Today I watched her, laying on her play mat, reaching for the toys hanging above her head and working out how to grab onto them. She is absolutely fascinated by everything around her, because everything is new. New shapes, new colors, new, new, new! It’s so fun to watch her discover her own hands, to use for things other than chewing! She coos and smiles and laughs all the time now, and she “talks” and babbles at us. We have pretty interesting conversations, she and I. She “tells me stories” while I sit there and say things like “Oh, yeah? Then what happened?” And if she starts to get fussy but she’s still talking at me, I’ll say “That sounds terrible!” I probably sound absolutely ridiculous, but Briana eats it right up.

She is already trying to sit up on her own, and trying to roll over, and if you help her balance, she is standing up. She’s going to be mobile WAY faster than I am going to be ready to be chasing her around. This girl is already constantly in motion…Once she can crawl, I am going to have to put a bell on her to keep track of her!

Anyway, husband is calling from the other room. He needs me to take Briana. Hopefully you all weren’t too bored by my rambling post!

Possibly a Stay at Home Mommy

Monkey OutfitBathtime hair  Concentration  Smiles

My baby was just a little spoiled this Christmas…

Published December 28, 2012 by JD61088

David and I purchased two little books for Briana for Christmas. One for “her” to unwrap at David’s parents house, and one for “her” to unwrap at my dad and grandma’s place. We kind of figured that since she is so young, she doesn’t know the difference, and we couldn’t afford much else right now, what with me being on maternity leave and everything.

David’s parents had given us a swing for Briana a couple of weeks ago and told us that was her Christmas present, so we weren’t really expecting anything else from them, and when my dad and grandma asked what to get for her, we shrugged and suggested one of those “activity gym” things. The play mat with the little arch over it with toys and mirrors and everything for her to look at. So we figured those two books, a play mat, and the swing were going to be Briana’s Christmas this year, and that next year we would buy more for her and she could rip up all the paper…maybe. She’ll still only be just over a year old next year…but I’m getting ahead of myself.

David and I obviously weren’t thinking. David’s parents are first time grandparents, and my parents aren’t any less excited just because it isn’t their first. Then of course there is my awesome relatives, Aunt Julie and Uncle Tom. Three presents? Um, not quite.

Christmas 1

Briana scored this Christmas…she didn’t know it at the time though. These are two pictures I took of her during present opening – the first one at David’s parents, the second at my dad’s place.

Christmas 3

Christmas 4

I don’t think she was very impressed. 🙂

Oh, well. Next year.

I have been feeling a lot better the last couple of days. Still a little down, but less noticeably so. I’ve been laughing more and eating more and just been feeling generally better. Of course, I have been back in therapy, lol. But whatever works! At least I didn’t have to go back on antidepressants. I hate taking those things, they make me feel like a robot. No bueno.

I am still very back and forth about going back to work. One day, I’m like, “Yes, I’m going back to work, but only for 25 hours a week, and that will let me keep my insurance for Briana and still be able to easily pump and keep up my milk supply.” The next day I’m going, “I don’t know…maybe we can figure something else out for her insurance and I can stay home for her.” Two minutes later I’m flip-flopping again. *insert eye roll here* We’ll see what happens. I think I’m hoping for some awesome turn of events that will put David in a better job with awesome insurance before I have to make that decision. *keeps fingers crossed*

Of course, I’m still flip-flopping about pumping. It’s time-consuming and (at times) painful. Plus, when I have caffeine, I end up with a jittery and fussy baby. All inconveniences…but breast milk is what’s best for Briana, so I feel guilty considering formula because pumping is “inconvenient.” Those “what kind of mother would I be” thoughts come to mind then. I know there is nothing wrong with formula, and I don’t fault anyone else for using it. But my milk supply is great and I am perfectly able to provide her with breast milk, and I know it is best for her…so I feel guilty…even though I wouldn’t think there was anything wrong with someone else making the same decision. Silly, yes, but true.

Breast milk is also free. David’s parents have offered to pay for formula if we decide to make the switch, but David doesn’t feel comfortable with that, I think. He likes to do everything on his own (or, on our own). Paying for formula would be pretty tough on us, especially if I don’t go back to work. Of course, if I don’t go back to work, I really don’t have an excuse to quit pumping. Good grief. Why do I always complicate and over think everything?

Happier (But Still Feeling Guilty) New Mommy

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