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Don’t forget!

Published October 6, 2013 by JD61088

In less than a month, I’ll be moving over to my new blog, Mommyhood in Motion. (Which means, *sniffle* my daughter will be one year old in less than one month!)

Here’s the link…PLEASE go follow my new blog so you don’t miss out. New and exciting things are coming! 🙂 I’m going to try to add a recipe page, and a page with links for resources and such for moms and dads. It’s gonna be big…or at least, that’s the goal!

http://mommyhoodinmotion.wordpress.com/

I am feeling a little lost…I cannot believe that this brilliant little girl has been a part of our lives for nearly a full year. It certainly went by quickly!

I will try to update more about Bri soon, but I can’t promise, because we still aren’t all moved in!

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Mid-Move Blog Post

Published October 3, 2013 by JD61088

You know, when I was a kid, I liked moving. I liked packing up all my stuff in boxes labeled “books” or “toys” or “journals.” Of course, when I was a kid, my room was the only room that I was responsible for packing. It’s much less fun when you are expected to pack up everything in the apartment. It doesn’t help that we have moved…7 times in the last 6 years. Seriously! This is the SEVENTH time we’ve moved! Ugh. When we get our own place in the next 8 months or so, I am going to make sure we get a place that we can stay for a least three or four years. I am so sick of moving!

We haven’t really been able to settle in yet. There was a miscommunication about when we would be moving in…I said “We’ll start moving in on the first, and I want to be done by the fifth.” My in-laws heard “We’ll move in on the fifth.” So they didn’t really have anything ready in our room when we started bringing stuff over. So right now we’re sort of stuck waiting until they have time to put the new shelves out in the garage and get things organized. It’s a little bit of a bummer because I had yesterday and today off work and was hoping to get the bulk of the move done this week. Hopefully by my days off next week, they’ll be all set,and we can get down to it and get it done.

Briana is handling the whole thing like a champ. I don’t think she really gets what is going on, but we’ve managed not to disrupt her routine, so she’s perfectly happy. She’s loving all the extra space to move and crawl and explore…she finds about ten new things a day that we don’t want her getting into…we need to baby proof everything.

My sister-in-law and I took her with us when we took the dog for a walk today. Briana sat up on my shoulders, all bundled up against the fall chill and looking absolutely adorable!

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It wasn’t a very long walk, but that’s okay. Bri loves to be outside anyway.

I can’t believe that she will be 11 months old in just two days! And then she’s just one month away from her first birthday! My goodness! Where has the time gone?

I’ll try to do a more complete update about Bri on the 5th. Right now it’s dinner time for me…I haven’t eaten much today, Bri has kept me busy!

Busy New Mama

Miserable Mommy?

Published September 14, 2013 by JD61088

I went back to work on May 24th after blessedly being able to stay home for six plus months with my baby girl after she was born. So it’s been nearly four months since I went back. The first day was heart wrenching, the first week was torture, the second week was hard. I figured that I would get used to it as time went on – leaving Bri at home and heading off to make money. I mean, mothers (and fathers) do this all the time, right?

And I suppose it has gotten a little easier. I mean, I don’t cry every day now…I manage to hold the tears back. It’s only once a week or so that I let them come. When people at work ask me how I handled coming back to work with a baby at home (which a lot of customers seem to feel is their business when it comes up that I have a ten month old daughter), I literally choke up and have a hard time answering without my voice breaking.

Please don’t snicker and roll your eyes. I’m an emotional person, but that doesn’t make me stupid, right? I mean, I cannot possibly be the only mama out there who has to work and wishes with all her heart that she could be a SAHM!

I loved being home with my baby and not missing a single moment. I loved being there to wipe away every tear and respond to every smile and belly laugh, to watch as she explored this great big world where everything is new and fascinating! And while I still get to spend a large chunk of the day with her, I’m not there in the afternoons. I’m not there for dinner or bath time. And dammit, I’m not there for bedtime. Bedtime is so special to me.

Bedtime is special because when I was home every night, that was our special time. Daddy and Uncle AJ would head off to their respective bedrooms and go to sleep, and Bri and I would cuddle on the couch because she just wasn’t ready to sleep yet. Our little night owl would stay awake so late! But this mama is a natural night owl, too. So we’d snuggle, and I might watch a show or read a book (out loud, so she could enjoy it, too), or maybe we’d just sit there and take each other in. And when she got a little older, and she started to go to sleep earlier, I was still the one who put her to bed, because that was our time.

It seems silly sometimes, given that I was with her all day, and David was at work…you’d think that bedtime would be his, but somehow it became mine, and I cherished every moment. Even the “rough” nights when she fought sleep like it was her mortal enemy, when I occasionally lost my patience and had to call in backup (David, lol), I was almost always the one who finished out the bedtime ritual and put her in her sleeper and later her crib. We had a ritual, and then I went back to work and I lost that, and it really kind of hurts. And now, on the nights that I am home from work for bedtime, I somehow always miss out on putting her to bed. She and David have their own routine now, since it’s him five days out of seven, so when I try, she gets riled up and won’t sleep. I know I keep harping on it, but it’s heartbreaking. I miss our special time together.

As a working mom, I still get to see a lot of moments and cherish a lot of laughs and silliness and discovery and fun. But I miss a lot, too. I miss it because I’m not there. She’ll only be this little for such a little while. And in just four short years, she’ll be in school, and I’ll have to let her go and discover things without me, and let her tell me about them later when she comes home.

But in the here and now, everything in me is telling me that I should be at home with her, cherishing it all every second of the day. And I can’t.

 

I’ve been talking to David about trying to find a position as a nanny or before/after school care babysitter type person. A few people had suggested it before when I needed to go back to work, but I didn’t think I could find anything quick enough (that would bring in enough money for us to pay our bills) before we’d be really in a tough spot, so I went with the quickest solution and went back to my old job (though at a different location). Now, I have a job, and I have money coming in, so I can take the time I need to try to find a nanny or babysitting position. If I find the right one, with enough hours, I can still bring in enough income that we can survive, and I can bring Bri with me to “work.” I didn’t think David would go for it, as he kind of hemmed and hawed about it before I went back to work, acting like he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. But he has been surprisingly supportive. When I told him how heartbroken I was every time I had to leave her, and how I literally cried all the way to work some days, he didn’t hesitate to tell me he would support me in whatever I wanted to do. (Though, of course, he did point out that “whatever I wanted to do” did not mean I could give up working entirely, because we do need an income from me to pay our bills.)

I’m feeling excited and hopeful, but also nervous. Taking care of other people’s kids is something I’ve done before, babysitting and such, but I wasn’t a parent then, and I didn’t realize how important a job it was. Does that make any sense at all? Ha! Sometimes I feel ridiculous.

Anyway, my long-winded rambling (oh, woe is me) has probably scared off the majority of my readers tonight. I just felt like this decision was important, and I wanted to share it. *shrug* Maybe it’s only important to me. But since this is my blog, you’ll have to pretend it’s important…or quit reading it! 🙂

In Disney World

Published September 1, 2013 by JD61088

I am writing to you from Florida. I was going to say “sunny Florida” but it was pouring down rain when we got here. We’re talking buckets…they stopped delivering luggage to the terminals because of “extreme weather.”

I am on a Disney World vacation with my little family this week. “Why are you blogging then?” I can HEAR you roll your eyes from here.

I am blogging because it is 1:34 in the morning (FL time) and my husband and daughter are sound asleep. And while I wish I was also asleep because I am exhausted, I drank two Cokes with dinner in an attempt to rid myself of a headache from you know where, and now I can’t sleep. Such is life.

I thought I would blog about getting here. New parents worry about getting places. I was dreading the trip today. Security with a stroller and a baby and four carry on bags (two for baby) and one car seat bag (just in case there wasn’t room for her seat on the plane)…it wasn’t something any sane person would be looking forward to.

My in-laws came with us in our van this morning so that we wouldn’t have to load our car, unload our car, load their car, and then unload their car. Less steps equals happiness when you’re a parent. (Plus, they drove our van home for us and we didn’t have to pay for parking…score!)

I was a nervous wreck this morning. I was so afraid we would forget something (we forgot something) or put something in our carry on that wasn’t allowed (I will get to this later), that I was a serious basket case.

We made it to the airport on time and my father in law and husband loaded our plethora of junk on a luggage cart, and we did the whole bag drop thing. (Which still left us with a stroller, carseat in carseat bag which also contained diapers and wipes for the trip, two duffel bags, a backpack, and a diaper bag…not to mention the baby…)

My in-laws couldn’t go past security so we got in line ourselves…duffel bags piled on stroller, David with carseat bag on his back, me with diaper bag and baby, backpack underneath stroller.

I was sweating and feeling panicky. I could tell David was nervous too. We piled all our junk up there and the TSA guy was so kind and helpful. We had to take our liquids out, and declare the formula and baby food for Briana, and also put all the formula and baby food in a separate bin so it could undergo “additional screening and testing.” But he was so nice and patient and took us through it step by step. And since there is a Family Line at security, everyone behind us was being patient, too.

So I took out all the baby food that I remembered packing in the carry on luggage and followed instructions. They took the formula over and did some test on it and brought it back an said we were good to go. I started putting everything back together and putting the baby food away (which had been cleared). I had packed an entire four pack of baby yogurt in the bag, and it was cleared.

Meanwhile, another TSA agent came over and stated that he needed to do additional screening on our backpack. I thought it might be because of something called MagicBands in our bag which are basically wristwatch looking things that are in beta for Disney park tickets. Anyway, they were in a box and all contain chips of some kind so I thought that was it.

The guy eventually brought the bag back over looking perplexed and apologetic at the same time, holding a single container of baby yogurt in his hand. “Well, this is over the three ounce limit, but it’s baby food…but I can’t test it without opening it…so…”

I was not going to tell this guy that I had already been cleared for four additional containers of baby yogurt that was already put away. And I wasn’t going to cause a holdup or start an argument over a container of yogurt I hadn’t even remembered packing. So I just told him to throw it away. “Are you sure?”

Well, man, you aren’t going to let me take it through…what else was I supposed to do with it, mail it home? “Yes, I’m sure, it’s not a big deal.”

So, disaster averted, violation of personal space complete, let’s find our gate!

And we did find our gate. And we found the only available seating which happened to be in a row behind someone who was stretched across an entire row of seats napping. Briana needed a diaper, so I opened her diaper bag to get what we needed. Her diaper bag has Velcro.

The man sleeping apparently woke up (I was kneeling on the floor and didn’t notice) and after David walked away to change Briana’s diaper, this guy made a huge deal about stretching and yawning and making “Oh I just woke up” sounds. I glanced at him and just kept organizing our stuff, since we needed to gate check the stroller and I needed to find out if we could take our carseat on the plane for Bri or not.

The guy called me a bitch. Wasn’t brave enough to say it to my face, and said it just quiet enough that if I said anything to him he could pretend he hadn’t said it or hadn’t meant for me to hear.

And notice he waited until my husband walked away? REAL brave, dude. Real brave.

Of course, in the moment, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t feel safe saying anything. I was half afraid that if I did say something and it escalated, neither one of us would be allowed to board our flight. I considered talking to a flight attendant or something because it made me extremely uncomfortable, but that felt like tattling and I doubted they would do anything.

So I let it pass. I told David what happened once we were on the plane and he was FURIOUS, but we both agreed not to rock the boat.

Of course, halfway through the flight I started thinking about what happened and I was absolutely furious. And I knew EXACTLY what I should have said to him! Ugh. I know I am not the only one this happens to…but it is still insanely aggravating.

Anyway that whole story was off topic.

I did find out there was room for Briana’s seat, and we boarded and got all set up during the early boarding process.

I was armed with tons of tips from my aunt and uncle and many others about traveling on a plane with a baby. I had a bottle ready for her to suck on during our takeoff (helps with ears popping and such), I had a bunch of brand new never before seen toys for her to play with, and snacks and bottles galore for her to eat. I had blankets and burp rags and wipes and diapers and everything else I could possibly think of to entertain, comfort, or mollify my child.

She was an angel. She played in her seat for quite a while. She took a nap and then ate and played some more. We hit some pretty bad turbulence so we put her back in her seat and she was fine with that…she took another nap. She loved her new toys and smiled at everyone who walked by. She let us change her diaper in our laps three times when the seatbelt light was on without a fuss.

She was such a good little girl!

She gave a high five (newly learned skill) to the flight attendant who brought by her official Wings (since it was her first flight) and flirted outrageously with the woman across the aisle from us. Such a cutie.

Without my aunts advice, the flight would have been a nightmare…with it, it was the same as flying without a baby. Actually, better for me. I used to have anxiety up in airplanes, especially if I had to sit anywhere other than the aisle seat. Claustrophobia is no fun. Today, I sat in the middle seat on a five and a half hour flight and felt no anxiety at all…well, except during the thunder storm turbulence, but that wasn’t really related to my claustrophobia!

If you’re a new mom or just parents going on their first flight with an infant, my aunt (and uncle, lol) tips are as follows:

If you aren’t buying a seat for your baby but want to try to have a seat available for her, book a window and an aisle seat…the middle seat is almost always the last to be booked.

Bring brand new toys to keep baby’s interest.

Give a bottle or sippy cup during take off and landing. It helps with the change in pressure. Briana didn’t fuss at all either time.

Bring two changes of clothes for your baby, and a change of clothes for yourself…”wearing a poopy shirt for five hours is no fun.” Bring large ziploc bags for messy clothes.

Bring food for three more hours than you think you need (same goes for bottles).

If you are checking a carseat, stuff your diapers (the ones you aren’t using on the plane) in the carseat bag…they don’t charge for the carseats or strollers that are checked!

Bring Lysol or Clorox antibacterial wipes and wipe down every surface on your row that baby might touch or chew on. (I forgot to do this today, shame on me.)

I am sure I am leaving some tips out, but those are the ones that came in super handy today. My aunt and uncle are awesome people with awesome advice.

That’s all I got folks. Hopefully I can get some sleep now!

When she laughs, I can’t help but laugh with her.

Published August 24, 2013 by JD61088

Tonight, I got to put my little girl to bed. It’s been a couple of weeks. Between work and running around shopping and doing errands on my days off, I haven’t been home to put her to bed. Out of all the things I regret most about going back to work, I’d have to say losing that special Mommy-Briana time is in the top three.

Tonight, I was being a terrible mommy, getting her all riled up before bedtime…but I was just so excited and happy to be home this evening, I didn’t care. I wanted to hear her laugh. (I’d been home all day making her laugh, but I wanted to hear her laugh more!) I tickled her and hugged her and swung her all about the room. I held her upside down and made faces at her. I used my hair to tickle her face. (That always gets instant laughs from her, she thinks it is just the funniest thing ever.) I sat on the couch and made a tunnel for her with my legs, as she is big on going under anything right now, and she kept going back and forth and giggling like crazy.

David was shaking his head at me and kept saying “I’m glad you’re putting her to bed tonight!” I just laughed and said “I know what I’m doing. She’ll go right to sleep.”

I kept it up until 7:00, and we were both laughing so hard at one point we were out of breath. She is just so darn cute when she laughs. She has the most infectious little laugh. I dare you to hear her laugh and not laugh with her. Anyway, at 7 we stopped playing because it was time for me to eat dinner. She kept playing with her toys on the floor, but I was fully absorbed in eating my salmon, rice pilaf, and salad. (YUM.)

David predicted it would take me forever to get her to sleep, but she was rubbing her eyes and I knew just what to do. I scooped her up and walked into the bedroom with her. She was squirming and wiggling and smiling and waving like crazy at no one in particular, and David shook his head again and smiled at me like I was in for a rough night.

I got her into the bedroom at 8:10. I cradled her close and smelled her freshly washed hair and whispered “It’s bedtime baby girl.” I hummed a lullaby. I rocked her for a minute, then did a loose swaddle with her favorite pink giraffe blankie and rocked her for a minute more. At 8:16 I put her down, fast asleep, in her crib. I kissed her little forehead and told her I loved her. I watched her sleep for a moment, and then I tiptoed out of the room.

Mama’s still got it! (Funny thing, David didn’t say anything about how fast she had gone to sleep! :))

I love being a mom. I just absolutely adore it. There’s no greater feeling in all the world than cradling your baby close like that! (Well, except maybe to hear her laugh!)

A Laugh Lovin’ Mommy

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