All posts tagged Sleepless

If only every day could be like today…

Published December 5, 2012 by JD61088

Briana and I had a great day today. I didn’t think it would end up that way. I couldn’t sleep again last night, so I did not fall asleep until about five o’clock this morning. (She slept from ten to one in the morning, then from about two-thirty until six. Briana is getting much better at the whole night versus day thing!) David changed her diaper for me before he got in the shower, but I had to get up to feed her. Normally I would try to go back to bed, but since she is sleeping well at night, I decided it was my schedule that needed some adjusting now – and I got up with her.

We saw Daddy off to work, and then we hung out on the couch. I sang to her and she made faces at me and added to my song with random noises and spit bubbles. I wasn’t feeling sleepy – quite the opposite in fact. I think it was a mix of that exhaustion-induced adrenaline rush and the fact that I knew David and I were going to settle on our final dates for our annual Disney World trip when he came home on his lunch today. I was so excited that I didn’t feel tired. Either way, since my ultimate goal was not “Get the baby to sleep” we enjoyed each others company for quite a while.

Briana was awake until about nine, then decided it was time for a nap. I should have taken one as well, but again, wide awake. So I watched the Disney Channel in a fit of enthusiasm, and shook my head at the plot on Wizards of Waverly Place. The logic of turning your parents into guinea pigs to avoid showing them a “Wizard Report Card” escapes me. Perhaps my imagination isn’t keen enough to understand the complexity of television meant for younger viewers.

Briana snoozed through me channel surfing, and my obsessive checking and re-checking of the price of different dates for our Disney World trip, and me watching “Baby Story” on TLC and being very judgmental of the all the newborn babies. (“My baby was much more beautiful when she was born.” *snicker* I’m not biased at all…)

David came home for his lunch around noon, and she woke up at 12:30, acting like we never feed her. Silly baby! While she attacked her bottle like a starving child, David and I decided on the dates for our September trip, and chatted about how his day was going.

After he left, I was burping Briana, and she threw up down my shirt again. Not nearly as bad as the last time, when the spit up went down into my bra, but it was still gross. The annoying part was, she was up on my shoulder two seconds before she spit-up, with her face on the burp cloth. Just before she got sick, she threw her weight towards the center of my body and grabbed onto the neck of my shirt…then she spit up. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was aiming! (“Target acquired! Launching lunch now.”)

Oh, well. No one was home except the two of us, so I just stripped off my shirt and threw it in the washer, and stole one of David’s t-shirts from the dryer. Problem solved, at least until I could grab a shower once David was home from work. I’m probably ridiculous, but I’ve been taking my showers in the evening once David gets home, so that he can watch her and she isn’t on her own. Of course, the upside of my paranoia is that I can take a half hour-long shower if I want, or even just stay in there until the hot water runs out. Luxury!

Briana stayed awake until four-thirty! WOO HOO! *happy dance* I think we have successfully turned her sleep schedule around….*knock on wood* We’ll see how tonight goes! I’m hoping it goes well, since I’m running on about an hour of sleep, and I could really use three or four hours at a time. 🙂

Briana is one month old today, and I am having the hardest time wrapping my head around the fact that she’s that old already! She has grown and changed so much in the last month, and is growing and changing more and more every day, it’s just astonishing. I love her. She’s…amazing.

Amazed and Happy New Mommy

Pink Elephants

She is almost too big for the newborn sizes already!





“So much baby stuff!!”

Published November 29, 2012 by JD61088

David and I were sitting in the living room tonight, with Briana sleeping in her little rocker thing, and David started shifting around because he was sitting on something. He reached around and pulled out a burp cloth. Then he reached around the other side and found a receiving blanket, and behind him, a baby bottle. He put on his best “woe is me, I’m being dramatic” voice, and said “SO much BABY stuff!”

Our apartment really has been taken over by baby items. And every time I clean up one mess, ten more develop, so it’s not that we’re slobs, it just seems like her stuff keeps taking over every location not dedicated to something else in our space! I keep finding burp cloths in the weirdest places. In our bed, under our bed, in between couch cushions, on the floor in random places…they multiply! And bottles do the same thing, although they don’t usually end up under our bed, in our bed, or in random places on the floor. They’re just multiplying in the living room and kitchen. Good grief! Our life has been taken over by baby supplies! 🙂

Briana is totally worth it, however, so I’m not too worried. Last night was not quite as rough as the night before, but was still pretty difficult. She just wouldn’t stay asleep. She was quieter about it though. She just didn’t like being put in her bassinet. She would sleep if I was holding her. People keep warning me about “spoiling” her by holding her while she sleeps too much, but according to the pediatrician (and What To Expect The First Year), that’s not true for an infant so young. In fact, both the doctor and the book say that the more quickly you respond to your infant when they are this young, the more secure and independent your baby will be when she gets a little older. So we’ll see.

I’ve been trying to comfort her without actually picking her up out of her bassinet to see if she would go back to sleep without all the jostle and movement of me picking her up. It would work for a minute or two, but in the end, she always wanted to be held. I am wondering if she is cold, because our room can get kind of chilly at night. We have her wrapped in receiving blankets, but she wiggles her way out of those with all of her kicking and arm waving and wriggling around. We bought some warmer pajamas for her yesterday, so we’ll see if those help at all tonight. (It seems unlikely that this is why she keeps fussing, but I’ll try anything at this point. :))

This morning she kept spitting up. A lot. She threw up on me several times in the wee hours of the morning, and then, as I was rocking her this morning when David was getting ready for work, she spit up all over my hands, arms, shirt, and the freakin’ sheets on the bed. I swore. Not at her, just because I had hit my spit-up tolerance limit. “Are you freakin’ kidding me?!” David asked me what was wrong from the other room. He came in and found me basically sitting in a puddle of spit-up, near tears, and yet again exhausted from a night with no sleep. He assessed the situation. He picked up the phone. And he called in to work and told them he needed to stay home. Then he took Briana, changed her diaper and her outfit, told me to get something to eat, and then to go to bed.

I felt guilty about him missing work, but I was too tired to argue. I ate a (highly nutritious :)) bowl of Rice Krispies, changed pajamas, and crawled into David’s side of the bed, since my side was gross and wet, and fell straight to sleep. I was too tired to change the sheets (although that will be happening before bed tonight). I slept until 2:30, and I only woke up because my boobs were saying “hey stupid, you need to pump.” Ahhh….Glorious sleep…followed by being a milk cow. (Feels like that some days anyway!) My husband is the best. I feel much refreshed by the equivalent of a full nights sleep (or close to one anyway), and plan on getting another nap after I post the blog. So hopefully tonight will be easier.

I read Briana a story today for the first time. Bear Snores On. It’s a cute one. I know she doesn’t understand the story, but she sat there in my arms and stared up at my face while I read it to her, listening to my voice. She looked very content and sleepy, and like she felt safe and happy, and that made my heart happy. She makes my heart happy, no doubt about it. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful little baby, even if she does keep me up all night. My husband is a blessing, too…I don’t think I would have made it through today if he hadn’t stayed home. Not without hysterical bouts of sobbing brought on by total exhaustion anyway.

One day at a time…

Still a Tired New Mommy

We were trying to get a good picture of her in her cute Minnie outfit, but she didn’t feel like having her picture taken…

Bring on the night shift…

Published November 27, 2012 by JD61088

Briana has her days and nights mixed up…that’s the bad news. The good news is that there is a stretch (during the day) that she is sleeping for four to six hours at a time. So if we can just try to move that stretch to say…1AM to 5, 6, or 7AM, I would be a happy camper!

The nights are the most frustrating for me. During the day it is adorable when she is awake and making faces at me and making noise and fighting sleep. At night, all I want to do is catch some much needed sleep, and the same things that were so cute during the day become pull-out-my-hair frustrating at night, especially since her favorite noise at night is an ear piercing shriek instead of cute little sighs and grunts and coos. I usually do okay with it until about four, when I become so absolutely exhausted that I run out of patience.

Of course, I have been pretty bad about taking naps during the day, especially if David is at work. There is so much stuff to get done…dishes piled up in the sink and laundry to do (especially Briana’s since she is the master of spit-up and the occasional diaper mishap), and bottles in need of washing seem to multiply every time I turn around. Then, just when I get a few things done and think “Okay, I will take that nap now,” Briana wakes up and needs to be fed or changed, or just wants to be cuddled. I don’t mind taking care of these things for her at all – it’s what I signed up for when I became a parent, and I love taking care of her. It does leave one exhausted though, when the night shift rolls around, and your hubby has to be able to function at work the next day, so it’s all on you.

So today, I decided I need to take better care of myself, so that I can have more patience with her at night. She took a four hour nap today, so I took a four hour nap today. David is home from work, and we have eaten dinner, so he is on baby duty, and as soon as I am done with this blog, I am on sleep duty. I can’t be a good mommy to my baby girl if all I am focused on at night is how much I want her to be quiet. The same will be true, I am sure, but at least I won’t be as exhausted, and I can take a bit more joy out of holding her, even when she is screaming and fussing.

Briana and I swayed and rocked and sang and danced our way through last night, rather than both of us crying and getting super frustrated with each other. Since I was more aware (read: had gotten more rest), I was better able to tell what it was that she really wanted, so she spent less time screaming and more just squirming around to get a better view of mommy, or the light, or a random place on the wall. She was just kind of taking it all in…unless I set her down. Then she was screaming again. Not much of a view from her bassinet, I guess.

Was I still exhausted this morning? You bet. But at least I wasn’t in tears. And that makes all the difference.


Thanksgiving Day and Today

Published November 23, 2012 by JD61088

I wrote a big long blog post about Thanksgiving Day and the crazy night that followed for Briana and I, and Word Press ate it. For some reason the post didn’t automatically save as a draft like it usually does. I have spent the last ten minutes trying to find it, and it is just…gone. This is a bummer, because I thought it was a particularly good post, and I don’t think I’ll be able to get it exactly right again.

The basic gist of the post was that Briana woke up at 6AM on Thanksgiving Day and refused to go back to sleep. So I was awake with her and trying to get myself ready for the day and then get her ready, all while daddy slept, because he was sick and he had to work that night for “Black Friday” even though it wasn’t Friday yet. (Don’t get me started on retailers opening on Thanksgiving just so they can make more money, or on the people who actually shop on Thanksgiving Day…) He was going to show up later, just in time for dinner, so that he could get some more sleep.

I had never taken Briana anywhere without my husband, so I was freaking out a little bit about getting her out the door and to my Dad’s house without making any dumb mistakes. We did make it there in one piece, however, and I survived not being able to see her in the van. (Either David or myself had been riding in back with her any time we went anywhere, so I hated not being able to see her face and make sure she was okay while I was driving. I think I’m going to invest in one of those mirrors that hangs on the seat so that you can see your baby in the rear-view mirror.)

Briana slept through most of her first Thanksgiving, being passed around to different members of the family like a football. I spent most of the day chatting with my (completely awesome) Aunt Julie and Uncle Tom. They have an eight year old (my favorite cousin), and I really value their input and advice, and just enjoy hearing stories about funny things that happened with my buddy when he was a baby. Julie is hilarious, and she always tells the truth with no sugarcoating when it comes to parenting, which I find refreshing and helpful. It makes me feel not quite so bad when I have a bad day with Briana.

Briana slept for five hours straight at my dads house, then woke up just long enough for a diaper change and a meal before going back to sleep. I knew I was going to regret that later in the evening, and I was completely right. She slept peacefully right up until the moment I walked in the front door at home, and then she woke up and started screaming. Since I had a migraine and had been awake since 6AM and it was now 11PM, this was incredibly frustrating, and painful. Every time she shrieked it felt like someone was hitting me in the face with a hammer while simultaneously squeezing my head in a vice. Not a good thing.

I fed her and burped her and changed her, and she was quiet for about half an hour and then started screaming again. Since she had only eaten off of one side (though at least she emptied me on that side), I thought “Maybe she’s hungry again…” Turns out, she was. She drained my other side too! Well, then she got fussy and gassy, so that set off another round of screaming. It took forever to calm her down from that, and then it was a diaper change, and then it was her being hungry again, and then repeat the whole cycle.

I tried to stay calm, but it’s hard when you have a migraine. The most I could manage was quiet crying instead of hysterical sobbing, and talking quietly to her (really alternating between singing and begging her to be quiet) instead of screaming right along with her. When David called me at 2AM on his second lunch (at my request), I was in the middle of feeding her yet again, and I had a complete breakdown on the phone with him. I had been awake for 20 hours and I was exhausted, I still had a migraine, and Briana just wouldn’t settle down!

David told me that he was going to leave at 3:30. “That’s when I’m scheduled to leave, and if they give me grief over it, I’ll tell them that I have a wife at home who has been awake with a fussy baby for over 20 hours and they can just deal.” I told him not to get fired, but that I would greatly appreciate him getting home as soon as possible. He made a few suggestions to help calm her down, and Briana could hear his voice coming from the phone. I swear to goodness it seemed like she was reaching for the phone, and she started wiggling around. I put it on speaker and he started talking to her (basically pretending to scold her for giving me such a hard time) and she kept looking at the phone and then looking around all confused. I think she recognized his voice and was wondering where daddy was. Maybe I’m just dreaming, and she was just listening to noise. But I can pretend that she was listening to her daddy.

She eventually lost interest when she didn’t spot daddy anywhere, so I told David I would let him get back to work. He promised he would be home as soon as possible, and I hung up. I remember burping her and laying her down on the bed next to me, and I vaguely remember putting the pacifier in her mouth in hopes that she would be quiet long enough for me to get ten minutes of sleep.

David says he got home at about 3:45, and that he found me completely passed out with Briana lying in bed next to me, halfway asleep. He picked her up and held her for a few minutes, and then put her in her bassinet. She didn’t wake up again until nearly seven, thank goodness.

Today I played the “wake up long enough to feed and change the baby and then go back to bed” game. Especially since David was sleeping so that he could work tonight, I felt like I deserved the rest. All three of us woke up at about 3:00 when she was hungry again. David and I stayed awake after she was fed and changed though…Miss Briana did not.

I am hoping that tonight isn’t so difficult. David isn’t leaving for work until 10:00, so I plan on getting a nap in before he goes, just in case…No more 20 hour marathons for me, thank you very much!

Sorry I didn’t post anything yesterday, but you know, it was a holiday and Briana didn’t give me much time to spend on the computer. 🙂 Thanks for continuing to follow along with my (Mis)Adventures.

Tired New Mommy

This outfit also had brown striped pants that had a picture of a turkey on the butt. So she was Mommy’s Little Turkey Butt yesterday. 😀


Sleep when baby sleeps only works if baby actually sleeps…

Published November 14, 2012 by JD61088

*note: this was written on Tuesday the 13th, but was accidentally deleted*

People tell you “sleep when baby sleeps,” but what if it seems like baby never sleeps? Last night was rough and today has been worse. Briana hasn’t truly slept!

She keeps falling asleep in the middle of feedings, so she is hungry again way too quickly. I haven’t been able to sleep at all today because every time I try, she wakes up screaming for food.

This is definitely the most frustrating day so far, and I am exhausted, both emotionally and physically.

I really hope that since she didn’t really sleep today, she will sleep REALLY WELL tonight, because I don’t think I can handle another night like last night, and I really need some sleep.

Sorry for another short blog, but this is the most I can manage today.

Ta ta for now.

Exhausted New Mommy

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